October 13, 2008
I have been really convicted to get back into real study and meditation in God’s Word. I had finished my study of God’s attribute and our responses, from the Psalms, and have still been doing my current “read-through-the-Bible” (though I occasionally get behind)… and I had planned to pick up a study of Exodus that I had left off earlier… But I wasn’t very enthusiastic about that. Still, I felt like a should, so decided to start there this morning.
And guess what? First – my “read-through” chapters this morning (unexpectedly) were from the early chapters of Exodus, where God was laying the plagues on Pharaoh and Egypt -setting the stage, so to speak, for where my Exodus study picks up with the consecration of Aaron and his sons to the priesthood.
Second – when I was doing this study a long time ago (years ago, actually!) I used a green pen to mark time and place references. But I had used up all my current supply of colored pens earlier this summer… Then I was “tidying up” the kitchen table this morning – and found a package of new pens my husband had bought for work a couple days ago… and it actually included one green pen, along with the black and red pens he likes to use. I knew he was not thrilled about the green pen – so I took one my own black pens and traded it for the green.
Third – so I restarted my Exodus study (years later! – though of course I’ve done lots of other studying inbetween…) with chapter 20 on the consecration of Aaron and his sons as priests. At first as I read it, it was more or less just the same story I’ve read and heard over and over – but then You made my mind – and heart/ spirit! – so clear… and I began to see how everything in that chapter is a “type,” a fore-telling of Jesus’ sacrifice for our atonement, that we might be sanctified (made holy), and “ordained” (the word means “filled”!) and consecrated as a royal priesthood!
It was awesome! Thank You, Lord! Thank You for Jesus and His sacrifice for our sins! But also thank You for Your amazing Word – and Your amazing Spirit who enlightens it to our spirits/hearts!
It felt like such a long time since I have just really been knowing You, having pure relationship with You through Your Word and Your Spirit… I’ve felt like I got “side-tracked” with “issues” and “church” and stuff… but maybe that was necessary, too, to free me from some “shackles” in that area…. I really was “shackled” by the push, push, push to be “involved” in “ministry,” to be a “successful Christian,” to volunteer for lots of stuff at church, school, groups, etc. Yes, even to be noticed and acclaimed by mankind…
Because, really, for the first time I feel like I can just sit back and relax, and spend time with my Lord, just to be “in relationship” (not necessarily to be “getting prepared” to become a “mature Christian leader,” teacher, etc). If God sends along something He wants me to do, fine, I’m here, and He’s welcome to work through me and use me (to HIS glory!)… but I’m not going to be “under pressure” …
I was thinking about “church” again… I do like to go now – without feeling like I’m under “compulsion” to “get involved” …. I’ve been feeling, the past couple days, like I’d like to maybe be involved in a Bible Study again… but only if You clearly “open a door” … whatever YOU want.
Yesterday at church, a man read a little tongue-in-cheek kind of article about a church bemoaning the loss of a member by the name of “Someone Else.” Apparently, this member had always been available for any and every church job and activity. “Oh, I can’t do that. Surely Someone Else would be happy to do it.” “I don’t need to give more money to the church. Someone Else will.”
I just don’t even want to look through the list of “help wanted” items in the church bulletin… I’d rather just step in and participate and help as things happen by Your plan, purpose, timing…
I do think that really getting back into more active relationship with You will just result in You using me however – for legitimate needs: needs that are in YOUR plans and purposes and timing! Needs of YOUR church!
Thank You! Wow! Amen!
