conversations, meditations, reflections
Posts tagged truth
Your love… universalism? … I want Your Truth!
Nov 7th
July 7, 2009
Our company arrived about 9:30 last night. Most of today everyone just hung around the house. S and the kids went for a walk. W and family came over for most of the afternoon. I got out all the toys we packed up (for our move…), and have been having a lot of fun playing with the kids – blowing bubbles, building log cabins, playing pig-in-the-middle, playing with little cars, etc! Fun!
Well, I had an interesting discussion with S about the difference between Canadian and American approaches to Christianity and to government – and to the both combined. We agree that the two nations really do have different approaches, going back to quite different early history.
I got kind of upset – hurt, actually – when J went off about how heretical “The Shack” is… I think what it comes down to is that YOU used that book, Papa – in my case, at least – to show me that You really do LOVE me – here, now, in ALL my life, and that I really can love You and have a relationship with You… and that You aren’t constantly, well, rejecting me because of my sins….
What it came down to (and I was actually on the very verge of tears) is that I’d rather die than go back to the way things were before I knew that YOU LOVE ME!
J (and S too) is really concerned about “The Shack” author’s universalism and his rejection of penal substitutionary atonement (I do need to look into that… I think the “God Journey” group are there too)… J has a book that says the only thing that the Emergents agree on is their eschatology… and the rest they are pretty laid back about…
I’m SO tired. I’m going to sleep now. Lord, I DO want YOUR truth. I DO WANT YOU!!!!
Small l liberalism, autonomy, freedom, equality, liberty… semantics
Nov 7th
June 18, 2009
Good morning, Lord! The sun is shining and the temperature rising – even as the rain water is still dripping from the roof, the air smells so fresh, and the temperature inside is just 19 C in my room, and 18 C in my son’s room – hasn’t been that cool for ages! Wow! Yay! Have to close the doors and windows and curtains tight to trap the cool air inside, for sure!
I woke at 6 and was going to leap out of bed to rush downstairs and make rice pudding for breakfast (planning to take the bread pudding to coffee time)… when I suddenly remembered to give the day to You (and especially the coffee time) and ask You if there is something You’d really want me to make for coffee time … and then I went downstairs and made lemon loaf!
Last night on CBC I was listening to a guy being interviewed on what small-l, classical liberalism is, and he said it is all about autonomy – and equality, insofar as that is “feasible.” He went on for some time about autonomy, by which he meant personal autonomy, each individual’s opportunity to make one’s own decisions and plans and so on, unimpeded by enforced direction and by limits imposed by outside agencies – particularly the forces of state and church (aka religion) – especially when they are working together! (He also said those were the two “enemies” of liberalism in the last 18th and early 19th centuries when it was emerging in Europe, in its forms of rationalism and romanticism and free market economics and so on). He says that church and state are no longer the main enemies of liberalism in North America (and Europe, I presume), and he even advocates greater government “direction” in certain areas such as banking, in light of the recent economic difficulties: it turns out, apparently, that liberals were a little overly-romantic about their ideals, not factoring in certain realities about humanity… realities which he neglected to elaborate on, hmmmm….!)
So I just thought of all that when I was writing about asking Father what to make for coffee time! I’ve no doubt the guy on the radio would find me hopelessly – well, non-small-l-liberal (at least according to his preconceived notions: oddly enough, in terms of autonomy, he advocates freedom vs liberty, feeling that liberty implies freedom within the constraints of certain [usually state and/or religion enforced] boundaries, whilst freedom is, apparently, more, well, free! Actually I do understand, at least somewhat, the distinction he is making – and I would imagine he would see New Testament-defined “liberty” and “freedom” as, at best – in his terms – a rather narrowly prescribed “liberty” … although I believe that, if he really explored the NT concepts of those terms, he’d be forced to see an incredible freedom… but one which, clearly, would not fit into his preconceived notions, and which he would be forced to reject in order to maintain his viewpoints/ notions of freedom, liberty, autonomy (and “feasible” equality…), or else he would be forced to take a very radical turn in his ideas….
… into a different liberalism – a liberalism which I find far more in Jesus’ teaching than the “conservatism” which he, and the vast majority of small-l-liberals, and indeed a great majority of (North American, at least) “Christians” and “churches” consider to be the opposite and only other choice (and which, if a great many “Christians” and “churches” and “para-church organizations” had their choice, would once again unite “state and church” into a governmental monolith, to oppose and over-run the whole “upstart” (despite its centuries-long history) liberal viewpoint.
Well, I am really finding this intriguing… and I want to explore it further, Papa, Jesus, Holy Spirit. I want to see what You really taught about these so-called liberal notions (autonomy, equality, freedom, liberty) and how they worked out in practical terms in Your own life here on earth, Jesus, and in the life of Your church … because it seems to me, even as a write this (this is all quite new to me! I set out this morning to carry on from our chat yesterday… which I also want to explore further… and I believe it is You who took me down this path… I’ll be interested to see Your purposes down the road, eh)…. Anyway, it seems to me that Your way is not the way of the supposedly democratic, liberal/conservative divide, but of a new way, a higher way, in which the idealistic notions that drive these movements find a greater and infinitely higher and purer level, not only idealistically, but in reality – amazingly, eternally!
But it is 7:02 am and I have to finish the lemon loaf and get hubby his breakfast.
Oh Papa, I wonder what adventure You are leading me into with all this! Wow! My eyes are wide open with wonder and anticipation just now! Yay!
Amen! Thank You, Papa, Jesus, Holy Spirit (ha! a lot of folks would be thinking this is all decidedly non-spiritual, and couldn’t be from You… I think they are wrong… You were very political: or at least You and Your kingdom sure “threatened” and raised the ire of the state/religious politicos of Your day…).
But it is 7:05 am and I have to stop!
(Yesterday I was feeling tired, even bored… I wonder where You are taking me, eh, on this new path of thought? To Your Word, fast! Led by Your Spirit (in Your liberty), please! Thank You!)
…. So we had the bread pudding for breakfast. Took the lemon loaf to coffee time – but didn’t get there till 8 am and I guess a lot of people had already come and gone, so only a little of one loaf was used. Put the rest in the freezer there, and brought the second one home. Oh, got my Rabbits and Elephants book back from J. And saw Pastor P in front of Tim’s but he was talking to someone so I just waved.
It was sunny in the morning but clouded over by later morning, and finally rained again late afternoon, never did get very warm.
I made green salad and bread for lunch. Watched a bit of TV, then spent a lot of time in the afternoon looking at all the Real Estate company listings for our town, and even some for the surrounding communities. The prices are higher and the choice and quality (for the price) lower than Campbell River. (I just told hubby about a local job application I filled out, and he prayed that Your will be done. I agree! Thank You!).
I am so tired. I’m going to hit the sack early. Maybe it’s just the gray raining weather getting to me. My laziest day in ages! Yikes!
My thoughts about “The End of Religion” by B. Cavey
May 16th
May 14, 2009 (again)
A friend of mine loaned me a book, The End of Religion, by Bruxy Cavey. Although I didn’t agree with totally everything in the book, there was a lot of stuff that I thought was really worth reading and considering… and so I sent an email to some of my friends whom I thought might be interested in it, offering to send them the quotes I had copied from it.
One of my friends replied, and passed on to me, for my consideration, a “review” by someone else who had read the book … and not only was the review very antagonistic to the book; it also seemed like the reviewer and I had read totally different books. I read it and was amazed again by Your love and grace – and this reviewer read it and proclaimed it to be “simplistic… dumbed down… significant error… contrary to the biblical message… heretical… wrong” and urged people to “Please stay away, far away from books like this.” I was astonished!
And all day I can’t stop thinking about how amazing Your love is… and I do want to obey You in return (the reviewer pretty much said that the book advocates a simplistic love of God without obedience to Him). One thing he wrote that really disturbed me was: “Adam and Eve committed original sin so we are separated from God and therefore need rules and a mediator in Jesus to help us live as we should… We need rules because sin is our true nature”…
But Father, when I read Your Word, I hear Jesus saying that we need Him and His sacrifice on the cross to free us from slavery to our sin nature… and that You have given us Your Spirit as well to guide and grow and help us… and that we love You because of Your love and grace toward us… and that as we live in You, abide in You, we will love You and others… and in that loving, come to true obedience – the spirit, not just the letter, of the law.
Okay, and the reviewer also wrote, “The Bible is the only way we can know Jesus and why he died on the cross.” But we can also know Jesus because He came and lived among us and taught us Himself… and died and rose again – and longs to live with and in us every moment by His Spirit! Without His Spirit, the Spirit of Truth, living in us, even the Bible is (to those who do not believe) a “dead” book, “foolishness!”
As I responded to my friend who had passed on the review, maybe the reason I liked the book so much was that it backed up what I have been experiencing in my walk with God: I love to obey Him because He loves me – I no longer feel rebellious against His rules and regulations because I know that He has made them for my good, because He loves me (though this does not mean that I also accept the rules and regulations and rituals of men who may even claim to be speaking for God, if their rules are counter to the Word of God – to Jesus, the Word, the Truth!).
When I read the book, I do not see the author advocating disobeying God – in fact, when I read it I see him all in favor of obeying God because of what God has done for us and the relationship God longs to share with us. The gospel message, the power of the cross, is shared clearly.
When I say a book is worth reading, I don’t mean it is “perfect” … What I mean is that it is worth thinking about – usually because it challenges our dearly-held preconceptions, the way we “perceive” truth… It doesn’t mean I agree with everything. I suppose that is why two people (the reviewer and I) could read the same book and have such totally different reactions to it… I came to it with the experience and joy of a relationship with God who loved me so much that He took the judgment against my sin upon Himself, and in doing so freed me from it’s bondage, and then gave me His Spirit to guide me in His way, His life, so that I gladly obey out of love and gratefulness… while it seems (though I could be wrong, of course) that the reviewer has come to the book with a deeply held conviction that at least as long as a human being lives, even as a “Christian,” the sin nature continues to control, and the only solution is to follow a carefully laid out list of rules, regulations and rituals in order to be obedient and thus please God (and, perhaps, earn or at least maintain, one’s salvation)….
(My first reaction was that perhaps the reviewer, who is clearly antagonistic to anyone whom he feels is “postmodern,” may not even have read the book, or had just skimmed it, looking for “evidence” of “postmodern heresy” … but on further reflection I really do think that the “preconceptions” we bring DO color our reaction to what we read, and even our understanding of it… Looking at it again, myself, trying to see it through the eyes of a belief system that emphasizes rules, regulations, and rituals – a belief system that I myself grew up with, and am therefore overjoyed to have discovered the amazing love and grace and of God – I can see how, with a deep adherence to that system, I could have at one time reacted surprisingly similarly as the reviewer did!)
The reviewer claims that the writer of the book “wants to whittle the Bible down to a simplistic message: Love God Love Each Other and get rid of all those pesky religious rules, symbols and traditions. This dumbing down of the gospel needs to stop.” The interesting thing is that in my read of this book, the author isn’t trying to “get rid of all those pesky rules, regulations” etc…. In fact, he says that they can certainly have value in their place: as part of your relationship with God, and definitely as an outgrowth of it: we love and obey Him because He first loved us! – but not as the road to God, or the way to gain His favor (or the way to “stay saved”) (or the way to make God and/or others love us and approve of us)! I do not read this book as a “get rid of rules” approach at all. As for “dumbing down the gospel,” I found this book spends a lot of time on the incredible importance of the cross, and of the fact that following Jesus also definitely includes the cross in our own lives.
The reviewer says, “Cavey says that we need rules because we do not love each other as we should” – and yes, he does say that… but Cavey goes on to tell why we don’t love each other as we should – because of sin! – and then he rejoices that God has provided for the forgiveness of our sin… and that if we accept that and are walking in relationship with God, our obedience will be greater (in quality as well as in quality, as we apply the principles behind the Biblical rules to our lives) than our “rules and regulations and rituals” (letter of the law) obedience because now we obey out of love and gratefulness (and spirit of the law), rather than simply out of fear or from being “forced to.”
The reviewer also says that the author “tries to demonstrate what our relationship with God should look like, devoid of institutions and rules…. Even in the beginning God did have one rule…” Oddly enough, when I read the book, the author did discuss the rule God gave in the garden; and nowhere in the book do I find advocacy of the kind of relationship the reviewer says the writer describes. On the other hand, the author of the book does advocate carefully considering the rules, regulations, rituals, traditions that we follow, as to why we follow them, and as to whether they really are Jesus’ message, and so on. And I think that is important, if we are to avoid, as Paul urged the Galatians, getting caught up again into the slavery from which Jesus delivered us!
Oddly enough (in view of what the reviewer claims about the book), I come away from reading this book wanting to OBEY God more, LOVE Him more: the two are inseparable, as the author says. The book challenges me to love and obey God even more, to share the gospel more (even if it results in persecution and people disliking me).
Father, that is how I feel. If I am wrong, please show me… but please, oh please, don’t take away Your love! If I had to go back to knowing about You and about Your love, in place of knowing You and being in a love relationship with You… oh Father, I don’t think I could bear it!
I want to obey You. I want to love You, honor, revere, respect, worship – yes, and also fear You with trembling … because of Who You Are…. Love, Truth, Wisdom, the Creator, the Way, the Life, the Light … God Almighty! Not because if I don’t obey a bunch of rules and regulations I will be sure to fall, or You will come after me with a big stick, or You will reject me.
Your Word says we love Him because [even though we totally deserve judgment and punishment - yes, death!] He loved us, and died for us, forgiving us that we might gain His life!
“Gospel” is good news!
……
By the way, my “readings for today” confirm this love of God that results in free obedience … the freedom Christ’s sacrifice has given those who believe in Him…. Check out Exodus 12: 13,17,41 Psalm 31 Psalm 32: 1-2, 5-11 Isa 31: 1,3 Isa 31:6-7 Acts 2:38-39, 42-47 Acts 3:15-16, 19-20 1 Corinthians 14:1,3,4,6,12,26,31
Life, truth, downsizing, church…
Mar 2nd
February 21
So yesterday I gave the living room hideabed away, and we moved the daybed down from the spare room to take its place. The spare room is turning into storage of packed boxes, ready to go when the time comes.
It’s beautifully sunny out today, but chilly. The temperature still goes down to around -7 to -9 at night and only up to 3 or 4 (Celcius) in the daytrime, so there are still patches of snow piles, and always lots of frost in the morning.
A teacher from one high school came and took half of my daughter’s collection of fashion and teen magazines, and recommended calling a teacher from the other high school to get the others. Also, the stuff out in the gazebo continues to be taken. I am amazed at how quickly things go, really much faster than in the past. Maybe this recession is really hitting people hard.
I picked up several photo boxes at greatly reduced prices – it seems that with digital photos, such necessities are going out of style! I am hoping that by transferring my many photos from the albums to the photo boxes, I’ll be able to greatly decrease the need for storage space (and make moving easier too!).
I watched “Dances With Wolves” again yesterday (on TV) with hubby. Everytime I watch it, I end up wishing we could “go home” (to Haida Gwaii). (On the “Truth” video the other night, the speaker made quite a deal about how the Mayflower Compact gave as a major goal the introduction of Christianity to the Americas… it made me angry, because it didn’t take them long to masssacre whole villages and tribes, even when some members of their own group argued that it wasn’t Christ’s way. That detail wasn’t mentioned in the video…).
I have finished reading “Messy Spirituality” … I highly recommend it!
February 22
A lady at church gave a presentation about spending the past year with the Mercy Ship, at Liberia. I liked that she was so honest and open about the whole experience.
Some people at church are very excited, as a man came in off the street, and painted the sanctuary of the building (“our home” as one person described it), and people are all of a sudden volunteering for various positions, though some positions like children’s church workers stay empty…. I don’t know, I just don’t feel like “getting involved” generally… While it is nice to see other people so happy, I am disappointed, I think, to see what looks like just getting back into “traditional church” in so many ways, when the recent “troubles” potentially opened the door for honest and open discussion about church and what Christ really means it to be… It seems to me that most people are content (and even happy) to stay within many of the long-standing parameters of this particular church group… Well, that reminds me of the “So You Don’t Want to Go to Church?” book, too… I guess that’s okay, though; You work in so many different, creative ways, Father.
But I really do feel You are moving our family out to something new and different.
I have a growing longing to be with native people again… and the land and ocean too….
Your will be done!
Big questions… simple answers? paradox… God: my friend… and THE ANSWER!
Feb 5th
February 4, 2009
Isn’t it amazing how our presuppositions can blind us to the truth even when the truth is right before us and clear and obvious?
First thing I read this morning: (which I’d recorded 7 years ago… and yet these are lessons I am still learning…)
“The opportunity is often lost by deliberation” (but … not by stopping to pray first…)
“No service in itself is small/ None great, though earth it fill/ But that is small that seeks its own/ And great that seeks God’s will.
WOW!. Again!
The “Truth Project” presentation today was about “Theology” and asked the “big question” : “Who is God?”
An interesting thought: When we come to know God – we come to know ourselves. That is why the world attacks God’s character and His Word – seeing and knowing God and His Word exposes our own pretensions.
Okay, so the video asked this huge question: “Who is God?” And, as this video series generally does, it asks more questions than gives answers. And that of course forces the viewer to think – and to question oneself, and what one has “accepted as truth” … and then to question the underlying presuppositions that lead to that belief… and to face up to the pretensioness, the empty pride we have in our own ability to “know and understand and answer”…. hoo boy….
And, yes, I got angry, upset! …. well, here’s what I wrote, as I struggled to face my own presuppositions and pretensions…
When I listen to ___, (in the discussion after the video), it seems to me that he takes these big questions and quickly reduces them to “very simple” answers… and I am frustrated by that, because maybe I’m still at the point where I want “details” and stuff… but then, I think, maybe he really is a lot further along the journey than I am (older, more educated, more experienced… even knowing You a lot longer), and maybe he’s actually gotten free of the tangled bush, and really can clearly see the whole forest, the big picture… and he has found out that the big answers to the big questions are actually simple after all?!?!?
(And so maybe he doesn’t even “worry” about things that I worry about… like church structure, which I just spent another day trying to sort out, to comprehend…. I mean, I know he sees that whole question in a lot simpler terms than I do, and he doesn’t get all tangled up about it, because (I suppose) he knows the answer… he knows what he knows, so to speak… Or… perhaps he just doesn’t see it as important to “discover the whole truth about it” or whatever??? hmm… when I say that, I feel guilty… like I’m gossiping, slandering… because I really don’t think he is like that… Maybe I’m just saying that because I’m frustrated… how can it seem so easy for him? Why is this whole questioning, wondering, seeking thing so hard for me?… My tummy hurts…)
Really, I don’t want to “get lost in the details”… but could it be that I am wasting time and energy (and foolishly getting myself into dangerous waters…) with all my “wanting to know”? So… how does one find the “right balance” (or whatever) between intellectual knowledge, and knowing who/what you know… knowing as relationship… like God revealing Himself to us in His Word… and by His Spirit… but… isn’t it true that without the Spirit of God illuminating it, making it alive, the Word of God can end up serving for nothing … “listening they do not hear, and looking they do not see” or words to that effect? … on the other hand, the Spirit of God gives you that “knowing God” from the “knowledge of God” gained from what He has revealed about Himself through His Word (and His creation, and His interactions with His creation, with us)… oh dear… so maybe it isn’t a matter of “balance” after all… but more like total integration… and as usual it’s way beyond me…. my head is hurting…
……. later ……… So the big question was, “Who is God?” … and after the video I was feeling so amazed… and thinking, Wow, there is so much more and more and more to know about You… and so much more “knowing You” …. infinitely more…
And then ___ said something to the effect of: “The answer is easy. God is love! And how to we know that? The book of 1st John tells us… and God’s Spirit makes it real to our spirit, so we know about it… and we know Him.” Okay, so that’s true… But oh God, it seems to be that wrapping up that huge question so neatly like that is like skicking the question – like sticking You – into a neat little gift box, and tying a nice big bow around it, and then just setting it on a shelf to be admired (and maybe eventually to be ignored and gather dust)….
On the other hand, maybe thinking like this (with anger, frustration… even spitefully!) means I just have a bad attitude… So why am I crying? And why do I wish I was kind of slow-brained or at least content with just simple answers?
(By the way, I totally do not find the statement, “God is love,” to be a simple answer… to me, it is profound way beyond our limited human intellectual or emotional understanding… but the way it was presented as “the answer” to that “Who is God?” question, made it sound so simple (ummm… shallow simple … vs profound simple…) … and then it was like no one there could think of anything else to say… like maybe to say anything else would be to show doubt in You or something…
Right after the video, before that answer was offered, people seemed to be kind of speechless, just sitting there, not saying a word. I know I was, because for me at least, I was left with such a sense of awe at the very question, “Who is God”? … at the infinite Truth of You… of Your infinity…
And then came that “Oh! It’s easy! The answer is, of course, “God is love!” simple wrap-up… and after that, everybody was still pretty much speechless.
Of course I can’t speak for the others. Maybe it really did answer the question for them. Maybe they were just still processing, and not ready to venture their own thoughts. Who knows? But for me, my speechlessless came from feeling like a lid had been slammed down on Your amazing light that had just started to stream out….
But maybe this is all just stupid rambling on my part…. Oh, what if it is? What if I’m all wrong, after all – or at least all wrong-headed about this whole thing?….
….. sleeping on it….. February 5 ….
I woke up in the wee hours of this morning, all ready to continue being distressed about this whole “Big questions – simple answers?” thing…
And suddenly, in the quiet of those midnight moments, Your voice came so clearly, so gently and peacefully, with such certainty… in the words of an old hymn. And instantly – I had great, total peace – and I fell right back to sleep (most unusual for me!)
I also instantly lost the words of that hymn… but when I awoke this morning, once again Your voice was speaking… I don’t know if it is the same hymn You spoke into my heart during the night, but once again, expecting to pick up my distress of yesterday, instead You gave me… peace. Those words:
What a friend we have in Jesus
All our sins and griefs to bear
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer.
And I realized… that is right! What a privilege! I’ve been wanting to discuss my “wonderings” with other people… including my frustrations with ___ and his “it’s simple” answers (but knowing that I shouldn’t – can’t – because doing that is going to just turn into slander and gossip… and I don’t want to go there anymore) …
BUT I CAN bring all these things to You – because You do know ALL ABOUT IT. You do have ALL THE ANSWERS. You have every situation UNDER CONTROL. You know my needs, my heart, far more than I myself do… and everyone else’s too…. So I can TRUST You to take care of it all…
I can trust You to ANSWER MY QUESTIONS, to satisfy my longings, to take away my sense of aloneness, to bring peace to my distresses… as You (when I allow You to, invite You to) show me what YOU KNOW that I really do need to know, and as You teach me (for the rest) to trust in Your wisdom, Your omniscience, Your grace and lovingkindness – and so I can rest in Your perfect love! (Thank You!)
I can trust you to overcome (even – amazing at it seems – use to good purpose) my own failings, which by “rights” should produce very negative consequences not only in my life, but in the lives of my kids, my husband, and so many others – yet You keep “working all things for good” to those who love You and are called according to Your purposes (even when they fail… repeatedly…)
I can trust You, too, for my childrens’ relationships with You – trust You to bring them (as You have been doing for me, all my life, though I so often fail to see or appreciate it) out of their doubts and hurts and, yes, questions, and into Your perfect, infinite, saving love.
I can trust You to do Your perfect work in the life of every one of Your children (and I can trust You to teach me to stop assuming they share the frustrations – the same lack of trust in You, oh dear – that I have shown)
I see… yes, I do… just now… that, for example, while some folks do perhaps get blinded by things like church and educational structures, which I’ve been (yikes!) priding myself on rising above…. I myself also get blinded: by worry too much about those issues, spending huge amounts of time and energy trying to solve them in my own mind, trying to find the “answers” myself…
Failing to truly bring those questions to You, the Master Answerer… accepting the wise responses You are willing to share when I actually bring the questions to You… and leaving the rest, hands-off, at Your feet, at the feet of the cross…
“Burdens down, Lord, burdens down, Lord, Now I lay my burdens down…
Glory, glory, hallelujah! Since I’ve laid my burdens down!
You ARE in control! YOU ARE MY FRIEND, JESUS! You are the friend who I’ve been feeling so lonely for. You are the friend who promises (and keeps those promises!) to be always with me, always ready to listen, always caring for me and loving me (despite how messed-up I can be)…. You are the friend who IS working all thing out for good for me (and for all those who love You, who have been called by You… )
And is that not also true of Your bride, Your church (about whom I have questioned, and wondered, and been frustrated, and even felt despair…)? Yes! Everyone one of us, birthed in nakedness and disgrace, rolling around in the dirt, like in the propeht’s vision… and You have come along, and lifted us out of the dirt, and cleaned us off, and cared for us, and watched over us as we are growing up… slowly and faithfully changing us, perfecting us – and most amazing of all, taking us, children born in illigitimacy, children of whoredom, born in sin… and slowly, carefully, lovingly, You are transforming us into Your – get this! – into YOUR BRIDE – the bride of the Christ, the bride of the Son of God – of God Himself! You are preparing us for the great wedding banquet! Unimaginable!
(And yes, You planted that “wedding banquet” image in my mind, clearly, a couple days back… preparing me for this moment when You would, in Your infinite wisdom and perfect love and timing, bring at least some of the answer – probably as much as I can possibly handle right now! – to questions I’ve been worrying over for so long… bringing a bit of the answer here, a bit of the answer there, bringing those bits together… to form fuller, growing, amazing answers to the questions I’ve been struggling over for so, so long… I’ve been seeking, searching, with so little success…
But You, Jesus – my friend! – have been preparing my heart to receive Your answer – not the answer I expected, but a bigger, greater, deeper, more profound, wonderful answer… an answer that turns me toward Your glorious light shining onto a path in which the answers to my “big questions” will just … blossom! expand!… and yet, at the same time…
Seem SO SIMPLE! Good simple! Profound simple! Wow! (And if someone had tried to explain this to me before, I’m sure I would have missed the profoundness of it, and remonstrated angrily, “But that’s too simple! I want a deep answer!”…
Now I look at it and realize that this answer – like all Your answers – is paradoxical: so simple a child can grasp it instantly and live joyfully and peacefully and trustingly in it – and yet so deep and profound and immense and eternal that anyone who care to, can go on “plumbing its depths” eternally (and joyfully and peacefully and trustingly… not with frustration and blindly… but with You, the great I AM…
You, THE EXISTENT ONE, IN WHOM ALL ANSWERS EXIST AND ARE COMPLETE… and yet the One Who wants to be my friend (1), and to Whom I can bring all my “sins and griefs… pain.. trials and temptations… troubles” … and all my questions, large or small… in prayer…
What a friend we have in Jesus/ All our sins and griefs to bear/ What a privilege to carry/ Everything to God in prayer./ O what peace we often forfeit/ O what needless pain we bear/ All because we do not carry/ Everything to God in prayer ….
Have we trials and temptations? / Is there trouble anywhere? / We should never be discouraged/ Take it to the Lord in prayer. /Can we find a friend so faithful/ Who will all our sorrows share? / Jesus knows our every weakness/ Take it to the Lord in prayer…
Are we weak and heavy laden, / Cumbered with a load of care? / Precious Savior, still our refuge/ Take it to the Lord in prayer. / Do you friends despise, forsake you? / Take it to the Lord in prayer / In His arms He’ll take and shield you/ You will find a solace there…
Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised / Thou wilt all our burdens bear/ May we ever Lord, be bringing/ All to Thee in earnest prayer. / Soon in glory bright unclouded/ There will be no need for prayer/ Rapture, praise and endless worship/ Will be our sweet portion there.
(by Joseph Scriven)
Thank You, dear Jesus, my friend!
You know, of course, that I’ll still no doubt be asking a lot of questions… but somehow, now, You have taught me that – oh my goodness!!! – that “trite” billboard phrase I’ve always regarded with disdain! – “CHRIST IS THE ANSWER!” And You’re also my Friend!!! (why, how, does that “so simple” word “friend” suddenly have so much more meaning, too? Wow!)
(And yes, I’ve read Ezekiel 16 many times… and was actually awestruck by the imagery of that passage… and understood it – to a degree – in terms of Jerusalem and the people of Israel … but never before have I seen it as You have just shown it to me – seemingly, to me, “out of nowhere” … You pulled the memory of that scripture passage out of some obscure corner of my memory banks! … and showed it to me, this morning, as a picture of Your great salvation, Your great love… You – God! … and of the work You are doing not only in every one of Your children individually (including me)… but also in Your church,…
And yes, individually, and as the church, together, we have “played the harlot” despite Your rescue and Your loving ministrations… but still You remember Your covenant with us, and forgive us, and even when we have to go through disciplining on account of our sin, You keep Your promise and You restore our captivity!
Wow! Verse 60 of Ezekiel 16 is also an amazing answer to my distress over Your children who have known You… but are wandering (just like me, so many times)…. Amazing grace!
“Amazing love! How can it be? That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?”
Thank You!
Oh! I just GOT IT!!! The truly deep answers (which are paradoxically the very simple answers) can not be properly understood intellectually alone… yes, they are “spiritually discerned” … Okay, I get it! (Well, starting to anyway! 
(my toes are dancing…)
falling empires, genocide, survival of the fittest… you think?
Jan 30th
January 30, 2009
“…we can stand with authority and power, knowing He [God] will take care of us.” (Robert Soto, “Words from the Creator”)
Reading and studying in Deuteronomy: although I understand the theological explanation of God’s necessary judgment and destruction of those who choose evil – I can also see why people “choke” over the destruction (“putting under the ban”) of the peoples of Canaan…
It makes me wonder, though, what is in store for our “Godless” nations: we seem to think we are somehow “safe” … and yet look at the fall – bloody fall! – of so many previous “empires” – do we somehow suppose we are immune? We talk about how the world today is too civilized for that – but all over the world there are horrible blood-baths continuing… and we are seeing more and more of them rising up in our midst… they “seem” like isolated incidents… but how many people in our “civilized” nations will be easily drawn into incredibly destructive behavior… how many are there already “in the shadows” for every terrorist, serial killer, criminal, killer-student(s), dirty cops, whatever, who has already stepped out and into action? (And what is encouraging all this??)
I heard an interesting discussion recently about how our “civilized nations” are continuously making endless new laws, rules and regulations, about all kinds of relatively minor “misdemeanors” … while in most parts of the world those kinds of things aren’t even “in the radar” of the “justice system” because poverty, war, drought, starvation, political upheaval, etc are so severe…
And how long can we blithely carry on with our blindness to the reality of what is happening in the rest of the world… and also to the reality that what we consider “poverty” here would be considered wealth by a huge percentage of the world’s people… and even our blindness to the reality of what is happening, what is brewing in our own back streets… and in our “corridors of power” I dare say!
I fear that it will not be long before our blind arrogance and our disregard of God (yes, our denial of His existence, even), is going to put us “under the ban” (dedicated to destruction) one way or another… How can we not look back through history and see, over and over, the rise and fall of nations, kingdoms, empires, people-groups… yes, even “democracies”! – think Athens/ ancient Greece, the “birthplace” of the “democratic system” we hold so dear (and no, sorry folks, democracy and free enterprise, our “sacred cows,” are not inherently “Christian” or “Godly”…) – anyway, as I was saying, the rise of these “civilized” powers which unfortunately seem inevitably to fall into unbridled power, arrogance, lack of compassion, the glorifying of violence as entertainment, and all kinds of other forms of, well, what shall we call it? “Civilized evil” perhaps? And so they start crumbling within, and are soon easily destroyed, taken over by other powers … sometimes powers that have been quietly rising up from within (think about this carefully… it’s the “enemy” we are most unlikely to recognize until it is “too late”), sometimes by competitive outside powers (the “enemy” we are most likely to focus on, are even encouraged to focus on, by the real “enemy”/ power brokers, who want to distract us)… and sometimes even by the very peoples they had conquered, destroyed, enslaved, impoverished, in their self-righteous march of superior civilization (well, maybe we deserve this “enemy” eh…) hmmmm…..
Maybe that “genocide” of the Canaanites by Israel, in the bibilical record, isn’t quite so astonishing after all… Gen 8:21 “The intent of man’s heart is evil” … and while God is amazingly patient (even with Canaan who got a 400 year reprieve – except for Sodom and Gomorrah - according to the biblical account)… hmmm… does it make you wonder when our “reprieve” might run out… and how our turn for judgment and destruction will look… pretty messy, I’m thinking… “peace at all costs” perhaps?
(Maybe that’s why we find those biblical commands so distasteful… and prefer to think of them as myths… or perhaps as tales told to the Israelite people by their power-hungry leaders in order to convince them to take part in genocidal massacres … or however we choose to “explain” what makes us uncomfortable… what perhaps makes us squirm, because it maybe forces us to take another look at ourselves and our own sins/ wickedness/ evil! (a.ka. our “civilization” and “progress” and “human rights” perhaps?)
Yikes. There must be something more pleasant for me to ponder, eh?
(A little voice keeps telling me, “You are beginning to sound like a wacko conspiracy theorist…” I don’t think so. More like an historian who looks and sees the reality of the past, and the present… and the future, because we haven’t learned any lessons at all…)
(Umm… how can one really see the “truths of history” without factoring in the reality of YOU, God… without You, it’s simply the closed system of the cosmic box… which makes no sense at all of concepts like “good, evil, truth, morality” … if there is nothing outside the box, there is only survival of the fittest… which of course is then neither good nor bad, but whatever happens is just “it is what it is” … no need for civilization, justice, caring for the environment, or any of the other “goods” we so fondly claim… woo hoo… another uncomfortable topic… anyone game? … nah… might as well just go out and “have fun” while you can, without worrying about anyone or anything else, eh! … yep… “We’re here for a good time, not a long time, so have a good time, the sun can’t shine every day…” Catchy tune! ) (Smith/McGuire, 1977, MCA Records … for those of you too young to remember!)
Schooling/ education … disconnects… questioning… truth… wisdom… joy!
Jan 29th
January 29 (yes, again…)
Here’s something I’m wondering about… is there some connection between “self actualization” (and self-esteem, etc etc etc) and “assessment for – and as – learning” and “positive formative assessment” (the goal of the latter apparently being to create a self-motivated, self-monitoring, self-managing, self-efficacy, internal locus of control and self-motivation type learner? (lots of “self..” there…) ..
(And as opposed to “control from outside” …. but what outside is that? the teacher, the ministry of ed, the philosophers of education, the power brokers in our society – or a further, ultimate “outside” whose existence we prefer to deny… what’s with all this self-this and self-that which we are aiming for….what do we really fear? … God’s control?)
“… articulate the role of assessment in ensuring success, understand that their work correlates with their needs…” (Carol Ann Thomlinson, “Learning to Love Assessment” … including all those self-items above) … ah yes, back to Maslowe and his hierarchy of needs… hmmmmm…
Tim Krell, in a seminar entitled “Curiosity and Wonder – lost in School?” said words to this effect: “We want students to become independent learners – when we demand so much obedience, how do we get them to think for themselves? … simply love: uncontaminated by self-interest [as a teacher]. Is it easier to control than to love? …. Individuals who are just receptablces are not given the opportunity to be true image-bearers of God. The more they are receptacles, the less transformation of themselves and the world: passive role –> adapt to the fragmented role of reality deposited to them. We need to equip students to ask important questions and follow those questions to the end.”
So… God’s love for us includes giving us the opportunity to ask questions – and even make choices that are us-centered rather than He-centered… doesn’t it? What does it mean to be a true image-bearer of God? What does this mean for education and schooling, in practical terms? For “Christian education” in particular? For our walk, our relationship, our journey with God?
I quit teaching (in part, at least) because of the disconnect between:
1. the supposed theory of schooling/ education in our society (which is so much based on the self-actualization model) (theoretically…), and
2. the reality (which is so much about practical control in managing a large crowd of little people whose goals and interests and other aspects of their lives may have very little to do with whatever it is we are trying to teach them… or get them to learn… or get them to be learners… or whatever…) (and also about the formation of cooperative little citizens who will accept the rule of the powers-that-be), and
3. the goals of “Christian schools/education” which include, as we hope, ultimately producing people who, as Krell described it, are “true image-bearers of God” [what DOES that mean? that is HUGE....!] and “responsive and responsible disciples of Jesus” (Harro van Brumellen) and so on.
So, how do we create schools that have all these things happening at once? Is it possible? Is it even right? It seems to me, just to start with, that the philosophical understandings behind these three aspects of (Christian) education are each antagonistic to the others (even the first two, in the public school system, are antagonistic, I’m thinking…) … And yes, when “Christian” education/ schools accept the funding of the world system, is it not inevitable that it’s methods (and it’s underyling philosophies, more than we want to admit… “If you buy a statement [method, etc], you buy the underlying assumptions as well” …), and when we educate our teachers in the world system, but expect them at the same time to “make disciples of Jesus” – no wonder they burn out… OR perhaps they find others ways to handle the disconnect… like just find “something that works for me” and accept that (that’s pretty self-actualizing, you think?) … or leave and do something else… or maybe go to the ivory towers of the seminary or university to legally become a thinker (maybe… if the powers-that-be there truly allow it… or maybe just give up the quest for truth and try to find a pragmatic middle road…. or … maybe… fill journals and blogs with “drivel” like this????
(and yes, this problem extends into our “churches” and our “Christian organizations” … and yes, indeed, into our personal journeys with God… doesn’t it? Or maybe, after all, I am making something wisely simple into complicated foolishness… maybe even evil??… )
Dear God: You are so way beyond my puny little mind!
Psalm 29: 1 .. Ascribe to the LORD glory and strength. 2. Ascribe to the LORD the glory of His name. Worship the LORD in the majesty of holiness. 3…. The God of glory thunders… 9… And in His temple everything says, “Glory!” 10… Yes, the LORD sits as King forever. 11. May the LORD bless His people with peace.
(How can I experience peace in the presence of an awesome, fearsome, majestic, thundering, glorious, strong, holy King and God like You? … Yes, I know…. “a shelter in the time of storm” ). (You really love paradox….).
(So… I want to know TRUTH… ergo, I want to know YOU — more! (or should I just be content to be where I am, and stop struggling, and just wait to see what You show me next… yes?)(Did You make me this way – or have I just bought into the world’s idea of “intellect/ knowledge/ wisdom….”??? Lord??)
(I am also having a really hard time waiting to see what it is You want from me… why? Another buy-in to the world’s way?) (Do you really just want a love relationship?!!!!) (so simple… so why so difficult?) (yes, I know about the “fleshly nature” and so on…)
Do You mind my questions? Is it okay to wonder? Or am I not really living in faith … and love… and trust… and obedience… simply…. with You? (I thought I am… at least that I’m on the journey, and that You just love me…. Yes, YOU DO!!!) Thank You! (I love You, too!)
Thank You!
JOY! (dancing, laughter, trust… oh yes, and peace!!!!) (I AM Your child!)
Unexpected thoughts … and great hope!
Jan 26th
January 25
“A local church has no right to define itself. It is the prerogative of Jesus Christ alone to define the church, for it is His church and it is designed to fulfill His purpose.” (Charles Price)
Something I just realized… ___ asking me to sew skirts for her, and ___ asking me to show her how to sew… that’s part of my Titus 5 older woman dream! wow!) (Your vision/ dream…)
Jesus’ instructions, mandate, mission to His disciples: – preach the gospel to the whole world – make disciples of all nations – start where we are (ie Jerusalem) – expand your circles till you reach the ends of the earth (go on a journey that will take you eventually, generation after generation, to the ends of the earth) – do it by the indwelling, enabling and empowering of the Holy Spirit (and wait/ pray until that happens) … (and grow in discipleship to become better equipped to live lives that not only bring pleasure to God but which bring revelation of him to those around us in our world!)
I didn’t wake and get up this morning till going on 9:30 am! I didn’t even hear hubby come home from work, and he had to make his own breakfast, poor thing! I just don’t sleep in like that! By the time I showered and had breakfast it was way past “Church in the Park” which I had thought of going to (to help make and serve breakfast) and it was also past church pre-service prayer, and even too late to get to church service on time…. coincident? I don’t think so…
Anyway, I really felt led to watch some “Christian” TV programs – which I generally do not like to watch, in fact, haven’t watched for literally years… but it was YOUR leading. The speaker was Charles Price, the pastor of “The People’s Church” in Toronto, and former principle of Capernwray, England. Maybe I wouldn’t have even stayed on that channel, but he mentioned Capernwray, which reminded me of my brother, so I listened a bit longer – and the message was surely to me from You! I even took notes – from a TV program! Very unusual for me! But I had to! You were speaking! Afterwards I even went to their website and downloaded and read the transcript. (“The Dynamics of An Effective Church: Part 1: The Dangers of a Mature Church”- www.livingtruth.ca … check it out!)
Out of that came this question: WHO equips? (and why?) … we’ve had so much teaching about “the pastor” and “leaders” being the equippers… and I was wondering about that… so I checked out some scripture that deals with this topic: 2 Tim 3:16-17, 2 Tim 2:21, Heb 13:20,21, 2 Cor 9:8-10, Eph 2:8-10, 1 Pet 5:10, Acts 2:8, 38, Rom 1:11, 1 Cor 12:1,4-11, 18, 18-31, Eph 2:20-22, Eph 4:11-15, 21-24, 31-32, Eph 5: 18-20 …. and this is what I found:
GOD EQUIPS all His people, by grace through Jesus, in and through the Holy Spirit…
for every good work, pleasing and useful to the Master, and planned before hand by God …. for confirming, strengthening, establishing, and increasing the harvest of righteousness….
to become sanctified vessels, prepared for those good works, and…
to be his witnesses, and…
for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ, in love, and…
that we will all hold to the truth in love, and grow into Christ our head.
God does use various means to equip (but still, He Himself does the equipping!). He uses: scripture (for teaching, reproof, correction, training in righteousness; the Holy Spirit (power, teaching, guiding, etc); spiritual gifts (which He gives, and which are all needed together; though some of the gifts are roles that are especialy for helping to equip others, such as apostles, prophets, teachers, evangelists, pastors); and every member of the body fulfilling the prupose and role God has given them.
So… God equips!
…….. And then I watched – which I would NEVER have expected myself to do – Jack van Impe… well, he was predicting Dec 21 2012 as the beginning, I gather, of Christ’s reign (apparently numerous “seers” of the past from all over the world have been proclaiming, for over 2000 years, that this date will be the “end of the world”… well, now, I don’t know about that… and I’m leery of date setters! …
BUT then he also quoted Henry Kissinger as recently saying that Barack Obama will bring in the “New World Order” … and you know what, I’ve actually been wondering about the way so many people all over the world have been enthusiastically, pretty much uncritically, hailing the new president as (even if they don’t use these words) some kind of “savior” or “messiah” figure… And I’m thinking… there is no way a single human could “fix” all of the world’s problems… but if enough people get behind him (and it is astounding to me how so many people seem to trust him completely to fix so many huge problems), I do think it is possible for those who have, in the background, been preparing for a “New World Order” to use him as a front man or “leader” ….
I wonder – are people really prepared to give up their freedoms? – because it seems to me that is what it will take to usher in the “New World Order”- the “peace” and “global unity” that these people are offering. Yes, I suppose people are ready to give up their own personal ideas and ideals… people are desperate, of course, with global economic “meltdowns” and so many wars and so on… But to give up your right to freely think and believe in order to achieve a world-wide “unity” of that order? It seems to me that people will have to actually choose gullibility and blindness in exchange….
The world wants a “messiah” … and the “prince of this world” is gleefully willing to oblige… Rather than accepting the true freedom and true peace God offers through Jesus and His Spirit, the world is willing to accept an alternative, false “peace” that is not peace at all, that does not bring freedom but is established by tyranny, and even by the threat of death for those who refuse to fall in line.
I’ve never been a big “end-times fanatic” … but when I see people all over the world wildly cheering, and weeping tears of joy, for a mere man (although I understand that at least some of that joy is legitimately related to the ideals of equality that he represents; and rightly so), not only do I wonder how he will manage to live up to expectations, and how long it will take before people, disappointed if things don’t immediately change and improve, turn on him… but I also am beginning to wonder if “the end” is not actually nearer than I’ve thought….
(Do I want to actually post this kind of thinking on my blog? I know, even now, that it’s asking for trouble… What kind of world, I wonder, will it take to provide “global peace” ?…) (check out 2 Thess 2:7-12…) But there IS good news in all of this!
Yes, there is an “end” coming… and there IS reason for joy: but not just a wonderful man, or even the hope of achieving a great ideal – but this promised end will truly be only the beginning of the real, eternal, peaceable Kingdom of God Almighty; a Kingdom that exists already, but when the final battle, the final war is won, the shadowlands will pass away and the God of Truth will reign forever! Praise God! Yes!
Truth… and “robber’s dens” ….
Jan 24th
January 22, 2008
Didn’t write yesterday! What did I do? Typing, typing, typing…
In the evening I went to watch the first and second parts of “The Truth Project.” I was not sure what I’d think of it since I haven’t always been terribly fond of some of the stuff produced by the group that put this project together … but this turned out to be really good! It wasn’t really “new” information to me, but was very concise and well-presented, and really helped “pull together” many things I have pondered or studied in the past. So I think I will attend the rest of the series in the coming weeks.
A couple things that really stood out for me:
1. Do you really believe what you really believe is real? (Or for that matter, do you really believe what you say you really believe? Or do you even know what you really believe? Have you really thought it through, including its presuppositions, and its logical conclusions? Do you believe it strongly enough to stand up for it, and act on it in all areas of your life? hmmm…. tough questions!)
2. Truth, to be truth, must be absolute, having a final authority. If truth is relative, then truth doesn’t exist.
3. If you buy a statement, you buy the underlying assumptions as well (and if you look at them very carefully, you may really have to re-examine whether you really should be accepting that statement….)
Yesterday when I was reading the scriptures, and thinking about “church” and what is really critical to the whole concept (truth!) about it (building? pastor? body participation? Christ as head? etc…) this verse stood out: Matt 21: 13 “And He said to them, ‘It is written, MY HOUSE SHALL CALLED A HOUSE OF PRAYER; but you are making it s ROBBER’S DEN.’ “ (s/a Isa 56:7, Jer 7:11)… So… whether you are thinking of God’s house in terms of “the body of Christ,” or yourself as a member of the body of Christ, or even in terms of a building and/or organization/ denomination/ institution … does it fulfill this criteria of being a “house of prayer”? Really? In what ways do we make the “house of God” a robber’s den? …. pretty serious thought….
