I am amazed and blown away by how simple my life seems to be these days!

And yet I can’t help but also think that not worrying, but instead trusting in You (oh thank You, Lord, for teaching me to trust!) has truly made things so much easier for me.

I just don’t get in a . . . → Read More: my amazing simple life, Father!]]> July 20, 2010

I am amazed and blown away by how simple my life seems to be these days!

And yet I can’t help but also think that not worrying, but instead trusting in You (oh thank You, Lord, for teaching me to trust!) has truly made things so much easier for me.

I just don’t get in a flap or worry about so many things that even a few short years ago would have put me into a major panic, that would have made me feel like my life was complicated and full of problems, that would have had me worrying and feeling sick and complaining.

Thank You, Papa!

(Of course it was the truly hard times, the times when there was nothing I could do to fix things, myself, that You used to turn my eyes from myself and my own “responsibility” to having to trust in You – and discovering that You really are there and really do care and are working all things out for those who love You and are called according to Your purpose! So why would I even want to go back to not trusting? You are amazing, God!)

Wow! Thank You! (and “whew!” lol)

More from 66 Love Letters by Larry Crabb.

I’ve made all those notes for my “business” … now I feel that I must – I am compelled – to go back through them and see (and record) them in terms of You at the center – Your holiness, Your love, Your purpose.

The 66 . . . → Read More: looking out for myself when I think I’m living for You…]]> 1 June 2010

More from 66 Love Letters by Larry Crabb.

I’ve made all those notes for my “business” … now I feel that I must – I am compelled – to go back through them and see (and record) them in terms of You at the center – Your holiness, Your love, Your purpose.

The 66 Love Letters book is really hitting me between the eyes.

I just want to be like Jesus – to have You at my center, Lord, to be free of the world’s clutches.

I know I’ve been wandering… not meaning to, really, but sensing it happening, for sure.

I keep thinking about the stuff I think might be a good “topic” for my writing – like the un/de church/school thing. But right now it all seems like just foolish chatter to get attention and maybe make money. And I’m pretty sure that isn’t Your way.

Well, I do think there is a problem with the school/church systems. But I’m wondering if its really so important… or not… inview of what is really important: You are the core, the center!

Maybe I’ve just been casting about for a “niche topic” to get noticed, eh?

So… I open the book again, and these are the first words I read:

“God, what You’re saying is getting more and more difficult to live. No matter what happens in our lives… You want me to think more about how I’m relating to You and others than about how to get my life together. And You want me to look deep inside, into my motives, to see if I’m really looking out for myself when I think I’m living for You. Am I hearing You?” “Yes.”

66 Love Letters by Larry Crabb.

“That early morning I saw myself as I really am, a mere Christian, a hungry follower of Jesus who desperately wants to hear whatever God is telling me, a man [woman!] in misery who wants only one thing, not relief from misery (although that would be nice), . . . → Read More: found my core!!!]]> 30 May 2010

66 Love Letters by Larry Crabb.

“That early morning I saw myself as I really am, a mere Christian, a hungry follower of Jesus who desperately wants to hear whatever God is telling me, a man [woman!] in misery who wants only one thing, not relief from misery (although that would be nice), but hope – hope of intimacy and meaning and joy forever, in relationship with God.” (p xviii)

That’s what I want! That’s my “core”!!!

(see more on this at My Church Journey site, here and here.

Sometimes it is better to be a bit flexible rather than totally stuck to a schedule (no matter what the wise men say!) This morning for example…

I “should have” gone straight to my “focused time with Father” this morning. BUT…

I did dishes first (there were a lot left from yesterday when I . . . → Read More: “should have?” … but didn’t and I’m glad!]]> May 22, 2010

Sometimes it is better to be a bit flexible rather than totally stuck to a schedule (no matter what the wise men say!) This morning for example…

I “should have” gone straight to my “focused time with Father” this morning. BUT…

I did dishes first (there were a lot left from yesterday when I was feeling too sick to do them!)… and that made hubby happy when he got home from a long night of work (happy that the dishes are done, and happy that obviously I must be feeling better!).

And then I decided to check my email first (the entrepreneurial guru-types always say to leave that stuff till after your “work” is done!). As I did it, I was “feeling rather guilty” – and yet I was really okay with it at the same time! And – well, I ended up having a wonderful time with Father, reading the “Words from the Creator” as well as some other things posted on the daily Tribes of Christ e-group email. Some of the postings are perhaps more “traditional native beliefs/ connection to Creator and creation” understandings… and I was thinking, well, Father could probably use those as stepping stones of understanding for those He is drawing, those who are seeking Him.

Some folks might – okay, do! – think that stepping stones like that are actually dangerous, because the people on them might just stay there (or even fall off into something “worse, wrong, evil…”). But Father, You are in charge, and You know when stepping stones are helpful, and You are there, holding our hands and helping us find the way.

I’m thinking maybe I’ll copy a couple or three of today’s postings into my facebook notes, and share them with my friends… [which I did, after actually getting to my more formal "time with Father in His word"! And then thought more about this whole matter! Readers can check out my thoughts at My Church Journey].

Oh! And I even had fun reading about how to prepare kidney beans, posted on another e-group I belong to – a short article which inadvertently provided some great examples for enjoyable writing… as Words From the Creator always does, as well).

So what else have I done this morning? Some Stumbling (and updating my profiles and friends there. Removing my Posterous from a couple of my sites, where I discovered it really doesn’t fit in (but I still have it here and elsewhere). Did some social networking stuff on my Twitter and such. Uploaded a plug-in to this blog to allow readers to make social network connections from here (see all those sweet little icons in the top right corner? Give them a try!).

And then I watched some really scary “7 Figure Networker” video (no, I am not going to give you the link!) and wrote a huffy email about it! What a blow-bag! And waste of time to watch! And checked out video of the deepwater rig explosion in the Gulf. Can you believe it’s already been a month plus since it happened? And the really scary part of this whole thing (beyond the environmental damage and all) is that Canada is allowing off-shore deep-water exploration and development to go on without putting into place the preventative measures that we now know all too well could have prevented this particular disaster!

What an adventurous day! First hubby comes home and announces he is leaving his job – and then he gets an interview for another one in just a couple days – and some on-call work tonight with promise of lots more… And so I helped him find his old resumes and update . . . → Read More: a very adventurous day!]]> 19 May 2010

What an adventurous day! First hubby comes home and announces he is leaving his job – and then he gets an interview for another one in just a couple days – and some on-call work tonight with promise of lots more… And so I helped him find his old resumes and update them and put together a new “package”….

And then the toilet upstairs plugged and flooded, both upstairs and down, and we had to use pretty much every towel and sheet in the house to sop it all up – and then of course I had to do loads and loads of laundry, and turn the thermostat way up to dry things out – right when I need to save money, not burn it up with high energy bills!

And I had to pile everything in the back yard into a pile because the pressure-cleaner guys are coming in the morning to clean all the walls in the complex…

Still, amazingly, I got a lot of “work” stuff accomplished! Lots of journaling, including an amazing word from Jesus, when I went to him after all that unexpected adventure …

and I got a couple awesome blog comments, which really confirmed that You are in control, Father!….

And I updated a writers’ email group which I moderate…

and wrote on a forum I am part of…

and practiced using Posterous…

and went through the notes (related to all the business stuff) that I’ve been jotting down and sorted them into topics and typed them up…

and got several new Twitter followers (and asked to follow some of them: I’m kind of particular, preferring to follow a few who twitter on topics I’m really interested in, rather than follow lots of folks just for the big numbers…

and got rid of a bunch of excess fb pages and groups that I rarely or never look at any more…

and closed accounts on a number of social networking sites I haven’t used in a long time (or that have succumbed to a lot of spamming and porn – sure don’t need that!)…

And finally got lulled to sleep with the unusual-for-here sound of steady rain coming down! Sweet!

What do you expect from your “devotions” or your “time with Father” or whatever you call your focused time with God? Prayer … Bible study … spiritual enlightenment?

How about some pretty direct “direction” about your business?

I tend to think that God maybe kind of drops incidents and information and such in our . . . → Read More: a very unexpected conversation with Father]]> 18 May 2010

What do you expect from your “devotions” or your “time with Father” or whatever you call your focused time with God? Prayer … Bible study … spiritual enlightenment?

How about some pretty direct “direction” about your business?

I tend to think that God maybe kind of drops incidents and information and such in our way, and if we are keeping our eyes open and walking with Him, He’ll use those things to kind of “guide” us in the “practical” areas of our lives.

But sometimes He really surprises me with the directions He takes me in my “conversation” times with Him. Check out what happened this morning, at this is not what I expected from conversation with You!!!. Direction on setting up email subscriptions? What kind of devotional is THAT?!?!?

(In case this seems a bit scattered – you have to understand that I wrote most of it between 3:15 and 4:00 am … but after some more sleep, and some serious thinking, and research, and reflection… I am going with it!)

I just woke up with an epiphany – that’s an . . . → Read More: epiphany: ah-ha moment! Novel Under Construction!]]> May 13, 2010

(In case this seems a bit scattered – you have to understand that I wrote most of it between 3:15 and 4:00 am … but after some more sleep, and some serious thinking, and research, and reflection… I am going with it!)

I just woke up with an epiphany – that’s an “ah-ha! moment” for those of you who may not have your dictionary close at hand!

Here it is: Write my Mother’s Journey blogsite story (which is currently in the form of many chapters of journal notes, mostly conversations with God) as a novel!

So how do I go about it? Hmmm…

Read some similar novels (similar storyline, similar worldview/perspective…)

Study/review on how to write good stories; and on novel forms/techniques.

Maybe even contact writers of such novels and pick their brains, ask for advice…

Father! YOU spoke this idea into my mind – and heart! Wow! It certainly never occurred to me, though I’ve wondered and wondered what to do about that site…

E-book? Maybe… but more likely (first, anyway) paperback. Self-published? Or even produced by a real publisher?!? Oh, Father! Your will be done!

Get out those writing books I ordered and start learning…

NaNoWriMo the first draft? (You know, sit down and just write, write, write…)

Print out the online blogsite edition, and read it through. Start marking it up.

(Father, You eed to help me with that – give Your direction! Some one out there – perhaps many someones – need something this book has to offer… Or You wouldn’t have planted this idea! Something You can offer them – through this book?!?!)

Read The Shack again? Other books that feature conversations with You? Papa? Please lead me to any and all books, stories, etc, that You know I need to get prepared. Thank You!

Father, that blog/web story has seemed to have just “sat there” for so long… doing almost nothing… and yet – who knows? ___ read it, didn’t she? (And if she alone was helped by it, encouraged to turn to You, walk with You more closely, that would be enough in itself. But I sense You have more. A much larger plan. Thank You! In Jesus’ name!) Lead please! Your will, Your way…

Probably, start with a “present” incident – looking back… to the beginning. And then the story of those years – and finally, back to the present again?

Integrate any suitable material from the Prayers and Meditations part of my Conversations, Reflections & Meditations website, into the Mothers Journey material. (Hmmm… better do that on the computer since so much of it is typed already… but how? Just cut-and-paste it into the current version? But I don’t want to confuse things that way…)

I can print out and work by hand as well, of course. (Yes, that small laptop would be handy, lol… the one my son and son-in-law have been encouraging me to get the past couple days… still, I really like the one I already have…)

Maybe end up with an e-book options too? Perhaps… but I hear You saying, “Traditional novel format first!” Okay. Your will. Thank You, Father.

Oh! Integrate stories from The Hill Gang story site too? Totally makes sense. A novel is STORY – not just reflection and commentary. Well then, I better “fill in the blanks there, eh! I have jotted down so many “missed” stories since I did the original. Well, this will be excellent motivation to get those written down – and those will be great story-writing practice, too. Yes!

Father? How “real life” do I make this? Oh my goodness…. What will the “real” characters think? How will they react?

Include them in the process? Papa? Is that YOU telling me that? I mean, it seems like a great, exciting idea. IF it is from You … because at the same time it seems pretty scary….

Hmmm… maybe a multi-author book? For sure, send them the drafts, proposal, etc etc as the process unfolds. And include them and their thoughts, ideas, memories in the whole process?

Wow. That would be something! You speaking into their lives – my life too – our lives, together – through the writing process, drawing us together – with You! Oh Father, that would be so amazing!

What? Write this as the beginning of a blog? A blog that tracks the entire novel-writing process, and includes others’ comments and input and suggestions and feedback? I mean, the story is the story – but what should be included, how it should be presented, writing technique… Open to all blog followers who want to be part of the process? Their comments part of the whole process? They themselves part of the process? Maybe the process becomes, in some way, the opening chapter?

Well! That would be different, for sure. That’s what “they” keep saying new writers and new on-line entrepreneurs need to do. Find a unique niche. Offer something that not only is a passion for myself – but meets needs of others, and offers them the opportunity to participate, share, learn together, produce together. On-going conversation. Involvement. Excitement!

And of course, the process then becomes its own buildup to the book’s release down the line!

Hmmm… I could actually do the process right on the Mother’s Journey” site, couldn’t I? Or maybe better yet, start a whole new site – a site that could become a “hub” for the other sites, pulling everything together.

Record all the process. List and describe other novels I read, books and other resources I research, and what I’ve learned. Post my drafts and edits and encourage people to critique. A novel-in-process. Under construction. For all the world to see – and take part in, if they like! (Has anyone else tried this? I wonder? I know that some authors, like Piers Anthony with his highly entertaining and successful Xanth series, includes many puns suggested by his readers – and gives them credit! Very multi-authored in that sense.)

Network! E-mail the 110 plus e-mail friends I have – and also notify my nearly 500 facebook friends – and the members of the e-groups I belong to, especially the writing groups, and The Word Guild Canadian Christian writers group I belong to, and the local Penticton Writers and Publishers club I attend. Send out a survey to get initial input and ideas. (And more later on, if I get stuck). And ask questions at related blogs and websites I follow. And, oh my, guess it’s time to start tweeting on twitter and hooking up to other similar networking sites (well, yes, I need to do that anyway, on my present sites, including my two main daily blogs, Pen ‘n Paper Mama and my Church Journey blog (which, now that I think of it, also has some potential material! And my other two blogsites and my website which I’ve already mentioned…

Crazy! I love it!

Oh Father, if creativity comes from You – this is surely proof of it. You, the Creator, the Source of all great creativity! Amazing!

(If this is really from You…. yes, it has to be… please show me, Father! Thank You! Woohoo!) (Is it okay to say “woo-hoo” to You?!?!?! lol…)

The automatic sprinklers just turned on outside my window… reminding me of Your Spirit… watering the dry and thirsty ground… Reminding me of You, Jesus, offering Living Water to the woman at the well of Samaria – and to her whole city – and to the whole world! Reminding me of the waters of baptism. Reminding me of sprinkling rainfall, of spring showers, of new life!

That old song comes to mind:

It’s beginning to rain, hear the voice of the Father
He’s saying “Whosoever will, come drink of My water,
I promise to pour My Spirit out on your sons and your daughters,
If you’re thirsty and dry, look up to the sky,
It’s beginning to rain!

(Well, those are the words we used to sing! I checked the internet for the lyrics – and found many versions! The original lyrics are by William and Gloria Gaither, 1979).

Oh Father! Let Your rain fall on me, on my family, on all Your children! The world! Papa, please use this book, this story – this gift from You! Thank You!

Well, I was only going to jot down a couple quick notes to help me remember this ah-ha moment when morning comes, then turn off the light and get more sleep. But now it’s almost an hour later, as Your ideas just kept coming to me, tumbling over me – and I had to switch the light back on, and write them down… as they kept coming.

Oh! The automatic sprinkler just switched off. Does that mean I can go back to sleep now? Lol… Good night!

And to my readers: It’s almost noon now. And I’ve started my new hub site. It’s definitely in the “under construction” stages … but I’ve posted this “start” there – and your comments are welcome! Check out the original site of this story to get a general idea of what it’s about. And then come join in, and become a (recognized!) participant in this newNovel Under Construction project!

Oh, Papa! I just can’t go on like this!

I’m afraid!

I feel like somehow I’m getting way too far from where You want me.

Or maybe I’m just getting into deep water and fear that I’m going to be swept away.

I remember when I was a child, maybe 9 years old or so, and my . . . → Read More: being afraid… or letting You sweep me out into the depths of You!]]> 10 May 2010

Oh, Papa! I just can’t go on like this!

I’m afraid!

I feel like somehow I’m getting way too far from where You want me.

Or maybe I’m just getting into deep water and fear that I’m going to be swept away.

I remember when I was a child, maybe 9 years old or so, and my family and a lot of friends were at the park at Woods Lake, where the creek emptied into the lake. The children were playing in the water close to shore, the dad’s were playing softball in the nearby field, the mom’s were setting up lunch on the picnic tables, and the older kids were playing water volleyball out in the deeper water next to the drop-off.

There really weren’t many kids around my age. I didn’t want to play with the little ones by the shore, and the water where the older ones were playing was too deep for me. Still, I tried to swim out their way, hoping they’d notice me and let me join in. They didn’t.

So I was paddling around by myself, until suddenly I noticed that I was way out past the big kids – and being swept by a strong current farther and farther out. I was terrified. I was not a strong swimmer, and could not break free from the current. I realized I was just a little kid, myself. I started to yell for help, but everybody back there were having fun, and they were making a lot of noise of their own, so they didn’t hear me.

I was splashing wildly, but only getting weaker and farther from shore. All I could see before me was a seemingly never-ending stretch of water, with waves that seemed to be getting larger and larger. And the safe shoreline was getting farther away and smaller by the moment. By now I was sobbing and hopeless.

And then, unexpectedly, a strong pair of arms encircled my shoulders, and a young man, whom I had never seen before, was pulling me out of the current with sure, strong strokes. He held onto me until I was safely close to the shore, and could stand up. He asked me if I was alright, and then swam off. Somewhere. I didn’t see him again.

Father, right now I feel like I did back then, when the current was pulling me out. I feel as though I am caught in a great current and am being swept from the safety of the shoreline. From the safety of friends and family. I have wanted to be “grown up.” I have wanted to follow You out to where the “big kids” play. But it seems as though, somehow, You’ve drawn me past the drop-off, and into the deeps. I’ve sensed it beginning to happen, but have always felt, perhaps, that not only are the big kids nearby, even if they don’t really want me around, but that I can always retreat to the safety of the shallows, and safely into the arms of family and friends.

And suddenly, I realize that You are calling me farther on. And all I can see is the vastness of the open water, and the height of the larger waves, away from the quiet of the bay. And I am panicking. I am thinking, “Oh no! I’m really just a little mama. It’s all I’ve ever really been good at, and I haven’t been that great even doing that. And now I’m really getting too old to even do that; my own children are mamas now… I have no strength. I’m too old for this. I have to get back to shore where it’s safe. Maybe I can just help set the tables for others.”

And yet. I am pretty sure that You are out here with me. In front of me, actually, in the depths, calling me to follow.

Still, the waters out there look so wide and far away and lonely. And I’m not a good swimmer. And everybody else is back there on the shoreline, safely splashing and playing in the shallows and setting up picnic lunches. Oh, Father! They don’t even seem to see me being swept away. They don’t seem to notice that I’m missing, at all. I want them to see me, to care, to rescue me, bring me back to safety and security.

And yet, again. You are out there, beyond me, way out in the wide waters. Calling me to look forward, to You. Not back to the beach. And I do want to trust You. Obey You. Follow You.

Only, Papa, I feel like I have no strength, no plan, no energy. (And hardest of all, no companionship).

Yet I do know, in my heart of hearts, that I can trust You, You alone, always, to fulfill all those needs for me.

But I also can’t see anything out there at all except water. I can’t even see where the current itself is heading. So I have no idea of even what general idea I might be swept.

And Papa – oh Papa. Do You have any idea how it feels when all the people I love, all the people who’ve been the core, the center of my life, just don’t even seem to see what’s happening?

(Maybe this is just part of yesterday’s “mother’s day” feeling? When my own mama was gone. And my children are mamas themselves now, and the special day is about them now! And even my baby, who really did spoil me lavishly, hug me wonderfully, is a man now himself, and I know he is already moving on….) (And for various reasons, it seems, I’ve pretty much lost contact, lost the security of, my “church friends” and my “work friends” too… )

Papa… I feel so alone. So way out in the water. I hear You calling. But it’s hard to really let go of all that “security” back there.

Is this what it means when You spoke of how we have to be prepared to leave everything, everyone, to follow You?

It seems like, in Your word, that people in Your family, in Your church, back in the day, were close together, meeting daily, visiting house-to-house, eating together, learning together, working together, travelling together to spread Your good news. (But sometimes You did send them out, alone, didn’t You?). And now – now I feel like we live such fractured lives. So many people, but everyone so busy. Nobody really knows anyone….

Yesterday I saw some little old ladies here and there. Out walking alone, sitting in the park alone. On Mother’s Day. And I said, “Happy Mother’s Day” to one as she walked past me. But then I wondered if that was the wrong thing to say. Because maybe she was feeling even lonelier than I was. I wanted to run and hug her. But I was afraid. Afraid that perhaps both of us would stand there in the street and hold each other and cry.

Oh Papa.

I really do want to follow You. Into the depths. No matter what.

(Even though it is awful hard not to keep looking back when you hear everyone back at the shore laughing and calling out to each other, and eating and having fun together.)

But Papa, that’s how it was for little Christian, in that children’s edition of Pilgrim’s Progress. There he was, leaving his home. Alone. To follow the hard path You called him to, in that letter You sent him. And later on, when he passed through that city, and the other children were dressed in bright colors, and having fun, and calling out for him to stay. But he kept on going. For awhile, he had Faithful with him. But Faithful lost his life for You. There were times of rest, when he was cared for and encouraged and nourished by members of Your family. But always, You soon called him to travel on. Alone so often. Still, later, before he crossed to the Celestial City, he did have the joy of seeing some of those he’d left behind, coming after him, following Your road too.

That is the journey You call us to, isn’t it?

…. Later ….

Oh, Papa! You’re speaking to me. Encouraging me. Thank You for that email prayer list: I am reminded once again how very blessed I am! And how much more difficult are the paths You call others to. And thank You for that article a friend posted a link to, on facebook. About the amazing – totally unimaginably awesome and amazing – universe.. You truly are so much greater, so much more in control, than I can possibly imagine!

And thank You for Your words, quoted at the beginning and end of that email prayer list. So encouraging!

“May our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who loved us and by His grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.” (2 Thess 2:16-17) (and those words in response, from the prayer-list writer: “we’re all waiting for the Lord. Let’s keep our eyes on Him and our trust in Him. Praise Him for His sufficiency and His goodness.”) And then those other words from You: “God takes the time to do everything right – everything. Those who wait around for Him are the lucky ones.” (Isaiah 30, The Message).

………….

Oh Father! Please forgive me for panicking. You ARE in control. I am not being swept away, alone, in fear of drowning, with no one to notice and care and rescue me.

Instead I am being swept into the immensity and wonder and awesomeness and endless amazing perfect love and care and fulfillment of all my being – indeed, of all that is: You! My Lord, my God, my Creator, my Savior! Almighty God, everlasting Father, Prince of Peace! Praise Your Holy Name!

Thank You, Papa. I love You! Amen!

…. Reading Matthew 5 to 7 …

Oh my goodness. These words of You, Jesus, are amazing! Father, You are truly calling us to radical living – living that is only possible, even in the smallest, beginning ways, IN YOU. And yet You are calling us not only to beginning ways – but all the way. To perfection. Just as You are perfect!

So yes, we have to leave the shoreline. And get caught up, swept up, into Your mighty current. Without reservation, without looking back to our old loves, our old safety nets, our old small pleasures, our old dependencies.

And allow You to sweep us forward, out into the depths. Where we can see no hope, no landing spots, no flotation devices even. Nothing except You. Even in (most of all, in) the most stormy moments when we are tossed about in giant waves and are cold and shaking and feel like we are going down with no hope of rescue. And even You don’t “seem” to be there.

And yet. You ARE. And You are teaching us, giving us the space and opportunity we need, to trust fully in You. Alone.

It’s a funny thing. So many times I have stood on the ocean shoreline and looked out toward the great Pacific ocean. And it is gray and misty and wind-blown and stormy. I can see nothing but a hazy distant horizon that I know goes on and on and on…

And yet, I find myself dreaming, longing to set out in a little vessel. Hoist the sails and let the waves and currents sweep me away to wherever they go. To “far Cathay” or “the Bay of Benin, the Bay of Benin” …. Far-off, mysterious, unknown shores, imprinted in my imagination from stories and poetry heard in my childhood.

And that poem calls out to me over and over: “I must go down to the seas again, To the lonely sea and the sky, And all I ask is a tall ship, And a star to steer her by”…. (Masefield).

And now, Father, now You are offering me that opportunity, to set sail on uncharted seas, with only a single star to steer by – You!

And after all that dreaming and longing – I find myself panicking. Afraid!

But oh, Father, I do want to leap in, even without a boat beneath me. And get swept into Your mighty current. Into the uncharted adventure of living in Your love. No matter when it takes me, no matter how stormy and cold. Even if no one else goes with me.

“Though none go with me, Still I will follow …. No turning back, no turning back.” (We sing so many songs about You, with such enthusiasm… And then one day You ask us to truly mean, to step out and act upon, what we’ve been singing all along.)

(Hmmm…. I’ve just suddenly gained a much more “sympathetic” viewpoint of Lot’s much-maligned wife.)

Good “Words From the Creator” today (at Tribes of Christ.)

Words From the Creator, May 6, 2010, Robert Soto. 1 Kings 3:14

“….. we have forgotten the Creator. We have taken our life into our own hands, and we have made ourselves masters of our own destiny. We have forgotten what it means to honor . . . → Read More: centered on You]]> 6 May 2010

Good “Words From the Creator” today (at Tribes of Christ.)

Words From the Creator, May 6, 2010, Robert Soto.
1 Kings 3:14

“….. we have forgotten the Creator. We have taken our life into our own hands, and we have made ourselves masters of our own destiny. We have forgotten what it means to honor God and to obey His desires for our lives.
God the Creator told Solomon, ‘And if you walk in my ways and obey my statutes as David your father did, I will give you a long life.’ A long life that defines our relationship with God the Creator, who gives all man life to its fullest.
When we forget God and do as we desire, we forget how precious is each breath we take.”

Walk and obey as David did. David loved the commands and statutes of the Lord. But he loved them because he loved God, walked with God, was in relationship with God. And he understood the difference between “fearing” God so that, on the one hand, every little rule and regulation became what life was all about; and on the other hand, living in “the fear of God,” reverencing and worshiping Him because he knew and experienced God’s love. David and God were friends!

(And David’s understanding of that fear/fear difference is demonstrated, for example, in the “show-bread” incident – which Jesus Himself pointed back to).

I think the reason this quote spoke so clearly to me today is that as I read through those old postings, I was reminded – by You! – of what is key (the hub, the core) for my writing. All the things I am learning about being a self-employed writer are useful: but only if our relationship (Yours and mine) is always at the center (centered on You) and affects every thing I think and do.

Well, here I am sitting just inside the front screen (okay, glass) door, soaking up the morning sun. It’s a bit cooler outside than it appears – it was 1 C at 7 am this morning. But I am enjoying the warmth and light through the door – and enjoying my neighbours’ . . . → Read More: reactions and questions… from reading “The Misunderstood God” book]]> April 25, 2010

Well, here I am sitting just inside the front screen (okay, glass) door, soaking up the morning sun. It’s a bit cooler outside than it appears – it was 1 C at 7 am this morning. But I am enjoying the warmth and light through the door – and enjoying my neighbours’ waves and smiles as they walk past.

I really do need to return G’s book (“The Misunderstood God”) by Darin Hufford. So this morning I photocopied the notes I had take so far (a couple journals ago) and will try to finish my note-taking now. When I first read the book, some of the writer’s statements really kind of knocked the wind out of me. But now as I re-read, I am beginning to understand more clearly what the author is saying.

We do come to all of life’s experiences – including the ideas of others – with our own preconceptions, no matter how broad-minded we pride ourselves on being.

I realize as I read this book again that I really was meant to read it TODAY. As I’ve said before, I don’t hold much stock in “coincidences.” And this is definitely another of those times. What I am reading really does follow up on the “gas miracles” memories (check out my last blog entry)… and my feelings of nervousness, even helplessness, related to my “writing business” (check out the previous blog entries!).

Although I did read the entire book before, there are things I don’t remember. I know when I read the book the first time I was caught up in – even shocked by – the author’s attack on the negatives that religion has fed us – and felt that he had pretty much missed the positive truths of Your love for us – for me!
So I am asking: It is clear to me that You want me to write (and not to be distracted by having to spend time and energy “earning a living” in a “job” … not to mention all those other distractions…). And I want to write so that people can know You ad experience Your love as You have shared it in our relationship – You and me.

So, yes, I am asking: please show me how You want me to proceed. Please walk with me, and remind me when I am starting to walk off on my own (because I really do that easily). Please provide for my needs so that I’m not caught up by distractions. And please help me to love others with Your love in practical ways, too. Thank You!

You really do love me! Wow!

(If you would like to see some of my specific reactions and questions to what I have been reading in “The Misunderstood God,” just pop on over to the My Church Journeyblog that I also write. And if you want some input from the writer himself, check out The Misunderstood Godwebsite.)