Pen 'n Paper Mama » joy

epiphany: ah-ha moment! Novel Under Construction!

Norma Hill — Thu, 13 May 2010 18:56:09 +0000

May 13, 2010

(In case this seems a bit scattered – you have to understand that I wrote most of it between 3:15 and 4:00 am … but after some more sleep, and some serious thinking, and research, and reflection… I am going with it!)

I just woke up with an epiphany – that’s an “ah-ha! moment” for those of you who may not have your dictionary close at hand!

Here it is: Write my Mother’s Journey blogsite story (which is currently in the form of many chapters of journal notes, mostly conversations with God) as a novel!

So how do I go about it? Hmmm…

Read some similar novels (similar storyline, similar worldview/perspective…)

Study/review on how to write good stories; and on novel forms/techniques.

Maybe even contact writers of such novels and pick their brains, ask for advice…

Father! YOU spoke this idea into my mind – and heart! Wow! It certainly never occurred to me, though I’ve wondered and wondered what to do about that site…

E-book? Maybe… but more likely (first, anyway) paperback. Self-published? Or even produced by a real publisher?!? Oh, Father! Your will be done!

Get out those writing books I ordered and start learning…

NaNoWriMo the first draft? (You know, sit down and just write, write, write…)

Print out the online blogsite edition, and read it through. Start marking it up.

(Father, You eed to help me with that – give Your direction! Some one out there – perhaps many someones – need something this book has to offer… Or You wouldn’t have planted this idea! Something You can offer them – through this book?!?!)

Read The Shack again? Other books that feature conversations with You? Papa? Please lead me to any and all books, stories, etc, that You know I need to get prepared. Thank You!

Father, that blog/web story has seemed to have just “sat there” for so long… doing almost nothing… and yet – who knows? ___ read it, didn’t she? (And if she alone was helped by it, encouraged to turn to You, walk with You more closely, that would be enough in itself. But I sense You have more. A much larger plan. Thank You! In Jesus’ name!) Lead please! Your will, Your way…

Probably, start with a “present” incident – looking back… to the beginning. And then the story of those years – and finally, back to the present again?

Integrate any suitable material from the Prayers and Meditations part of my Conversations, Reflections & Meditations website, into the Mothers Journey material. (Hmmm… better do that on the computer since so much of it is typed already… but how? Just cut-and-paste it into the current version? But I don’t want to confuse things that way…)

I can print out and work by hand as well, of course. (Yes, that small laptop would be handy, lol… the one my son and son-in-law have been encouraging me to get the past couple days… still, I really like the one I already have…)

Maybe end up with an e-book options too? Perhaps… but I hear You saying, “Traditional novel format first!” Okay. Your will. Thank You, Father.

Oh! Integrate stories from The Hill Gang story site too? Totally makes sense. A novel is STORY – not just reflection and commentary. Well then, I better “fill in the blanks there, eh! I have jotted down so many “missed” stories since I did the original. Well, this will be excellent motivation to get those written down – and those will be great story-writing practice, too. Yes!

Father? How “real life” do I make this? Oh my goodness…. What will the “real” characters think? How will they react?

Include them in the process? Papa? Is that YOU telling me that? I mean, it seems like a great, exciting idea. IF it is from You … because at the same time it seems pretty scary….

Hmmm… maybe a multi-author book? For sure, send them the drafts, proposal, etc etc as the process unfolds. And include them and their thoughts, ideas, memories in the whole process?

Wow. That would be something! You speaking into their lives – my life too – our lives, together – through the writing process, drawing us together – with You! Oh Father, that would be so amazing!

What? Write this as the beginning of a blog? A blog that tracks the entire novel-writing process, and includes others’ comments and input and suggestions and feedback? I mean, the story is the story – but what should be included, how it should be presented, writing technique… Open to all blog followers who want to be part of the process? Their comments part of the whole process? They themselves part of the process? Maybe the process becomes, in some way, the opening chapter?

Well! That would be different, for sure. That’s what “they” keep saying new writers and new on-line entrepreneurs need to do. Find a unique niche. Offer something that not only is a passion for myself – but meets needs of others, and offers them the opportunity to participate, share, learn together, produce together. On-going conversation. Involvement. Excitement!

And of course, the process then becomes its own buildup to the book’s release down the line!

Hmmm… I could actually do the process right on the Mother’s Journey” site, couldn’t I? Or maybe better yet, start a whole new site – a site that could become a “hub” for the other sites, pulling everything together.

Record all the process. List and describe other novels I read, books and other resources I research, and what I’ve learned. Post my drafts and edits and encourage people to critique. A novel-in-process. Under construction. For all the world to see – and take part in, if they like! (Has anyone else tried this? I wonder? I know that some authors, like Piers Anthony with his highly entertaining and successful Xanth series, includes many puns suggested by his readers – and gives them credit! Very multi-authored in that sense.)

Network! E-mail the 110 plus e-mail friends I have – and also notify my nearly 500 facebook friends – and the members of the e-groups I belong to, especially the writing groups, and The Word Guild Canadian Christian writers group I belong to, and the local Penticton Writers and Publishers club I attend. Send out a survey to get initial input and ideas. (And more later on, if I get stuck). And ask questions at related blogs and websites I follow. And, oh my, guess it’s time to start tweeting on twitter and hooking up to other similar networking sites (well, yes, I need to do that anyway, on my present sites, including my two main daily blogs, Pen ‘n Paper Mama and my Church Journey blog (which, now that I think of it, also has some potential material! And my other two blogsites and my website which I’ve already mentioned…

Crazy! I love it!

Oh Father, if creativity comes from You – this is surely proof of it. You, the Creator, the Source of all great creativity! Amazing!

(If this is really from You…. yes, it has to be… please show me, Father! Thank You! Woohoo!) (Is it okay to say “woo-hoo” to You?!?!?! lol…)

The automatic sprinklers just turned on outside my window… reminding me of Your Spirit… watering the dry and thirsty ground… Reminding me of You, Jesus, offering Living Water to the woman at the well of Samaria – and to her whole city – and to the whole world! Reminding me of the waters of baptism. Reminding me of sprinkling rainfall, of spring showers, of new life!

That old song comes to mind:

It’s beginning to rain, hear the voice of the Father
He’s saying “Whosoever will, come drink of My water,
I promise to pour My Spirit out on your sons and your daughters,
If you’re thirsty and dry, look up to the sky,
It’s beginning to rain!

(Well, those are the words we used to sing! I checked the internet for the lyrics – and found many versions! The original lyrics are by William and Gloria Gaither, 1979).

Oh Father! Let Your rain fall on me, on my family, on all Your children! The world! Papa, please use this book, this story – this gift from You! Thank You!

Well, I was only going to jot down a couple quick notes to help me remember this ah-ha moment when morning comes, then turn off the light and get more sleep. But now it’s almost an hour later, as Your ideas just kept coming to me, tumbling over me – and I had to switch the light back on, and write them down… as they kept coming.

Oh! The automatic sprinkler just switched off. Does that mean I can go back to sleep now? Lol… Good night!

And to my readers: It’s almost noon now. And I’ve started my new hub site. It’s definitely in the “under construction” stages … but I’ve posted this “start” there – and your comments are welcome! Check out the original site of this story to get a general idea of what it’s about. And then come join in, and become a (recognized!) participant in this newNovel Under Construction project!

basking in the glow of conversation with You… learning the Word 2007 programs… reasons for that job…

Norma Hill — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 06:30:09 +0000

November 6, 2009

Well, I set the alarm for 6:00 am, then work just before 5:00 am. I was about to go back to sleep when I heard Your very quiet, still voice asking me to get up then. Of course, physically I hesitated, even mentally and emotionally – but at the same time, in my spirit, I knew I heard the voice of Your Spirit… and I just longed to obey! I was happy! Joyful! (And I still am – basking in that glow of clear conversation – prayer! Meditation! Hearing Your voice and obeying with love and joy! – with You, my Lord and my God – my Papa, my elder Brother, Your Spirit united with my spirit, guiding me into all Truth and teaching me “all things” – You, the Way, the Truth, the Life-giver – the Life!!! Thank You! amen!

So yesterday I worked… I am so enjoying learning the ins and outs of the 2007 Word programs! I am confident You have a reason for me learning them – and I am confident You have many reasons for me being in that job right now! Even being a sounding-board for people to speak and sort out the “jumble” in their minds and hearts, without it going further (Papa, Father, sometimes it is SO hard for me to keep it from going further… and sometimes I fail… I was going to say, “I fail a little,” but failure is failure, sin is sin. Not a gradient! Please forgive me – I AM sorry – and help me just to LISTEN.

… later… Well, after Friday coffee, and a nice visit with L, and some grocery shopping for Your family’s needs (what an amazing sale, Papa! Wow! Thank You!)… I’ve spent the rest of the day typing my journal. I’m up to the beginning of November now, and into this new journal I got from my daughter. Hope to get it finished – and posted – tomorrow.

The camera memory card arrived in the mail today from my daughter (we accidentally left it at her place in Edmonton…), so hope to get that downloaded to the computer, then post on fb and flickr maybe, and on dropbox for my kids!

Had nice chats with my daughters (and an old family friend!) yesterday and today.

I hear lots of rest is a good way to protect from swine flu… so guess I better hit the sack! Please look after people, Papa! Thank You! Amen! (I’m really tired! J )

WOOHOOO!!! I AM FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH MY JOURNAL TYPING!!!!

more family time… what about our cars? … and our other needs? Papa? … a wonderful answer from You!

Norma Hill — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 06:09:46 +0000

Sept 28, 2009

On Saturday evening I put on a pot of oatmeal in the crockpot – and REAL MUSH was ready in the morning. I took it to church-in-the-park, with milk and brown sugar, and oatmeal unbaked (cow patty) cookies. They also made waffles there, but the oatmeal was a big hit anyway! It was a chilly morning until the sun go up, and the oatmeal was hot and stick-to-your-ribs. We had the crock pot plugged in, which kept it hot. My daughter and her family came over in time for the service and clean up. My son-in-law seemed really interested in it all!

In the afternoon, my daughter and I went to Fabricland to get some fabric for a new blanket for her little guy, and we also looked at potential upholstery fabrics for our new place, finding some beautiful ones in shades of cream, pale yellow-green and burnt orange. Sounds awful maybe, but they sure were beautiful together, and the orange provided the punch that would also bring up the wood tones in the wood furniture.

I spent a lot of time looking through my daughter’s binder of interior decorating clippings, and am feeling much more confident about my ability to figure things out.

We have appointments for both cars to be analyzed, so we can decide what to do about them. Papa, I SO don’t know what to do about them. We’ve just got a mortgage – we can’t just run out and get a new car… We could park in the street behind our place, and keep a sheet of cardboard inside our back yard to keep under the car every time we park, since it leaks oil so bad… but it that YOUR solution? Oh Papa, You know our needs…

It’s like with the stuff in the house, too… I’m already feeling guilty about spending almost $1000 on a couch (our first brand new one, ever)… and needing to spend about that much on a new fridge (our first brand new one, ever) (unless You have a better plan….???) and then I’m wanting some extra dining chairs from IKEA (well, only $25 each but…) and new quilts, and fabrics for the living room, and new bedroom curtains… and that antique table or desk, and some kind of pantry/ shelving for the kitchen, and an easy chair for hubby and an arm chair for me and a couple formal chairs… when our old furniture would “do” …

Is this another dream I have to let go? (And what about the TV and/or computer “needs”?) Papa, I really DO want to do YOUR WILL! (But I’m selfish, and want something NICE FOR ME (pretty much for the first time))…(Oh, and paint for the table and chairs) (just once, not a mixture of hand-me-downs…)… Papa, if You have some solutions out there, please show me! Thank You! J Okay!

Day after tomorrow we get the keys and the next day we can start moving… though I do think we’ll move on Monday. And we MUST get rid of more stuff… I think a FREE sale on Saturday would be a GOOD thing. I REALLY need to go through the shed, too. I really don’t think we need all those toys and stuff?

The camping stuff needs to be repacked. I have to take care of phone, internet, etc too. And we HAVE TO put in for hubby’s days off, ASAP, for going to see the new grandchild in October. Oh Papa! So much to do! YOU LEAD, YOU GIVE ME YOUR PEACE AND REST – PLEASE!!! THANK YOU!!

(And please send my daughter’s baby at just the right time… and our trip out there at just the right time… and so on and so forth… and a safe delivery and healthy mom and baby!) Thank You! AMEN! J

Time for Your Word… please speak to me!

FIRST VERSES I READ!!!: Deut 31:14 “But the word is very near you, in your mouth and in your heart, that you may observe it. 15. See, I have set before you today life and prosperity, and death and adversity; 16. in that I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in His ways and to keep His commandments and His statutes and His judgments, that you may live and multiply, and that the LORD Your God may bless you in the land where you are entering to possess it… 19… I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants, 20. by loving the LORD your God, by obeying His voice, and by holding fast to Him; for this is your life and the length of your days, that you may live in the land which the LORD swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them….

31:3 It is the LORD your God who will cross ahead of you… 6. Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble…, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you nor forsake you… 8… Do not fear or be dismayed… 12… hear and learn to fear the LORD your God, and be careful to observe all the words of this law.

(BUT warning: 31:20 … when… they have eaten and are satisfied and become prosperous, then they will turn to other gods and serve them, and spurn Me and break My covenant…)

Papa, I DO want a nice little house where LOTS of people can come and eat and visit and fellowship and pray and study Your Word and hear Your voice…

Yo! The “Words from the Creator” today were the very same as my reading today!

a wonderful new bed!

Norma Hill — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 06:04:09 +0000

Sept 20, 2009

My son and my son-in-law helped me bring home the Sealy Crown Jewel Collection Correct Comfort Queen mattress set (and of course the pine sleigh bed, head and footboards)…. After doing a lot of googling, I have found that it is the Sealy top-of-the-line… and pretty expensive! We got an incredible deal! The little old man and lady who had bought it not long ago found it was far too tall for them, so they bought another bed and sold this one to us so, so cheap! And it’s in awesome, like brand-new condition!

As for comfort, I guess that remains to be seen. People seem to either totally love – or totally not! But overall, mattress judging sites rate Sealy consistently in the top 3 of mattress producers, and it is the favored of hotel chains. If it feels as good as beds like this that I’ve experienced in hotels – it’s going to be great! Also, apparently you don’t feel the other person climbing in and out of bed, or rolling around. That’s good!

The main complaint of people who liked it was that you have to be sure to get “deep-pocket” sheets. Well, if that’s the worst they can say, I can handle that! J

Ha! The main complaint of people who didn’t like it is that it is either too soft – or too hard! Hocus pick! How can it be both extremes?!?! LOL!!!

… later…

I’ve felt the last 3 weeks or so like I’m 9+ months pregnant and waiting and waiting and waiting!!!

My to-do list for tomorrow looks like a normal to-do list for a whole month!

Discouragement … and then joy!

Norma Hill — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 05:30:18 +0000

Aug 4, 2009

I can’t think these days… I am so tired…. think these hot nights (and smoky air) are not good for me…

Or maybe I’m just stressed… lost… bewildered… confused (as Pastor J said this morning… confusion doesn’t come from You, Papa… oh no…)

This morning F asked, “So you aren’t looking for work here meantime?” … Should I be???

(I feel sick to my stomach too….)

(And I’m just sooooooooooo…. tired… and lonely…. and can’t focus…. can’t do anything worthwhile… and I want to cry… and hide my head under a big pillow….) (I’m feeling less and less confident… look at job ads and think, no way I can do that… I’m too old, don’t have the skills, need up-to-date-training… etc etc)

10:10 pm… Just before I go to sleep – I want to say a huge THANK YOU! PAPA! ABBA! FATHER! The day turned out so great! Way cooler (I think the high temperature was only 30 C – thanks partly to the very smoky atmosphere… ) Also I slept for 2 to 3 hours this afternoon and felt much better! I have been watching more HGTV and reading more from that house book. (But I didn’t read Your Word today… sorry….) (But I have been talking to You and thinking of You some… but not enough… sorrry…)

Anyway! I went out for a good walkabout this evening. Sure enjoyed the cool breeze. Seemed like everybody had more energy! I actually ran into GJ (one of the street guys, a believer) along the lakeshore and had a great chat… as usual, he tells me again if I wasn’t married he and I would make a good pair! LOL! He gave me some cookies… Oh yes, I waded the lakeshore from the Peach end to the Sicamous end… and then walking back homeward was going to cross the footbridge by the Art Gallery… and a security guy came up and told me I’d have to go back through or around the hotel as the security fences had been set up around the park (setting up for Peach Fest… the bridge had been clear when I’d come through earlier!). I pretended to be put out and then the other security guy, who was riding around in a golf cart, offered me a ride. I said, “No, that’s okay,” but he insisted, and took me for quite a wild ride through the park! It was fun! Then when I was almost home, I ran into the new guy at the 2nd hand store and had a little chat with him too. Then I checked our mailbox, and came home and sat on the porch to read the paper… Now it is only about 28 C in the upstairs bedroom so I think I’ll sleep fine!
Goodnight! Love You, Father! You are awesome!

My thoughts about “The End of Religion” by B. Cavey

Norma Hill — Sun, 17 May 2009 03:30:13 +0000

May 14, 2009 (again)

A friend of mine loaned me a book, The End of Religion, by Bruxy Cavey. Although I didn’t agree with totally everything in the book, there was a lot of stuff that I thought was really worth reading and considering… and so I sent an email to some of my friends whom I thought might be interested in it, offering to send them the quotes I had copied from it.

One of my friends replied, and passed on to me, for my consideration, a “review” by someone else who had read the book … and not only was the review very antagonistic to the book; it also seemed like the reviewer and I had read totally different books. I read it and was amazed again by Your love and grace – and this reviewer read it and proclaimed it to be “simplistic… dumbed down… significant error… contrary to the biblical message… heretical… wrong” and urged people to “Please stay away, far away from books like this.” I was astonished!

And all day I can’t stop thinking about how amazing Your love is… and I do want to obey You in return (the reviewer pretty much said that the book advocates a simplistic love of God without obedience to Him). One thing he wrote that really disturbed me was: “Adam and Eve committed original sin so we are separated from God and therefore need rules and a mediator in Jesus to help us live as we should… We need rules because sin is our true nature”…

But Father, when I read Your Word, I hear Jesus saying that we need Him and His sacrifice on the cross to free us from slavery to our sin nature… and that You have given us Your Spirit as well to guide and grow and help us… and that we love You because of Your love and grace toward us… and that as we live in You, abide in You, we will love You and others… and in that loving, come to true obedience – the spirit, not just the letter, of the law.

Okay, and the reviewer also wrote, “The Bible is the only way we can know Jesus and why he died on the cross.” But we can also know Jesus because He came and lived among us and taught us Himself… and died and rose again – and longs to live with and in us every moment by His Spirit! Without His Spirit, the Spirit of Truth, living in us, even the Bible is (to those who do not believe) a “dead” book, “foolishness!”

As I responded to my friend who had passed on the review, maybe the reason I liked the book so much was that it backed up what I have been experiencing in my walk with God: I love to obey Him because He loves me – I no longer feel rebellious against His rules and regulations because I know that He has made them for my good, because He loves me (though this does not mean that I also accept the rules and regulations and rituals of men who may even claim to be speaking for God, if their rules are counter to the Word of God – to Jesus, the Word, the Truth!).

When I read the book, I do not see the author advocating disobeying God – in fact, when I read it I see him all in favor of obeying God because of what God has done for us and the relationship God longs to share with us. The gospel message, the power of the cross, is shared clearly.

When I say a book is worth reading, I don’t mean it is “perfect” … What I mean is that it is worth thinking about – usually because it challenges our dearly-held preconceptions, the way we “perceive” truth… It doesn’t mean I agree with everything. I suppose that is why two people (the reviewer and I) could read the same book and have such totally different reactions to it… I came to it with the experience and joy of a relationship with God who loved me so much that He took the judgment against my sin upon Himself, and in doing so freed me from it’s bondage, and then gave me His Spirit to guide me in His way, His life, so that I gladly obey out of love and gratefulness… while it seems (though I could be wrong, of course) that the reviewer has come to the book with a deeply held conviction that at least as long as a human being lives, even as a “Christian,” the sin nature continues to control, and the only solution is to follow a carefully laid out list of rules, regulations and rituals in order to be obedient and thus please God (and, perhaps, earn or at least maintain, one’s salvation)….

(My first reaction was that perhaps the reviewer, who is clearly antagonistic to anyone whom he feels is “postmodern,” may not even have read the book, or had just skimmed it, looking for “evidence” of “postmodern heresy” … but on further reflection I really do think that the “preconceptions” we bring DO color our reaction to what we read, and even our understanding of it… Looking at it again, myself, trying to see it through the eyes of a belief system that emphasizes rules, regulations, and rituals – a belief system that I myself grew up with, and am therefore overjoyed to have discovered the amazing love and grace and of God – I can see how, with a deep adherence to that system, I could have at one time reacted surprisingly similarly as the reviewer did!)

The reviewer claims that the writer of the book “wants to whittle the Bible down to a simplistic message: Love God Love Each Other and get rid of all those pesky religious rules, symbols and traditions. This dumbing down of the gospel needs to stop.” The interesting thing is that in my read of this book, the author isn’t trying to “get rid of all those pesky rules, regulations” etc…. In fact, he says that they can certainly have value in their place: as part of your relationship with God, and definitely as an outgrowth of it: we love and obey Him because He first loved us! – but not as the road to God, or the way to gain His favor (or the way to “stay saved”) (or the way to make God and/or others love us and approve of us)! I do not read this book as a “get rid of rules” approach at all. As for “dumbing down the gospel,” I found this book spends a lot of time on the incredible importance of the cross, and of the fact that following Jesus also definitely includes the cross in our own lives.

The reviewer says, “Cavey says that we need rules because we do not love each other as we should” – and yes, he does say that… but Cavey goes on to tell why we don’t love each other as we should – because of sin! – and then he rejoices that God has provided for the forgiveness of our sin… and that if we accept that and are walking in relationship with God, our obedience will be greater (in quality as well as in quality, as we apply the principles behind the Biblical rules to our lives) than our “rules and regulations and rituals” (letter of the law) obedience because now we obey out of love and gratefulness (and spirit of the law), rather than simply out of fear or from being “forced to.”

The reviewer also says that the author “tries to demonstrate what our relationship with God should look like, devoid of institutions and rules…. Even in the beginning God did have one rule…” Oddly enough, when I read the book, the author did discuss the rule God gave in the garden; and nowhere in the book do I find advocacy of the kind of relationship the reviewer says the writer describes. On the other hand, the author of the book does advocate carefully considering the rules, regulations, rituals, traditions that we follow, as to why we follow them, and as to whether they really are Jesus’ message, and so on. And I think that is important, if we are to avoid, as Paul urged the Galatians, getting caught up again into the slavery from which Jesus delivered us!

Oddly enough (in view of what the reviewer claims about the book), I come away from reading this book wanting to OBEY God more, LOVE Him more: the two are inseparable, as the author says. The book challenges me to love and obey God even more, to share the gospel more (even if it results in persecution and people disliking me).

Father, that is how I feel. If I am wrong, please show me… but please, oh please, don’t take away Your love! If I had to go back to knowing about You and about Your love, in place of knowing You and being in a love relationship with You… oh Father, I don’t think I could bear it!

I want to obey You. I want to love You, honor, revere, respect, worship – yes, and also fear You with trembling … because of Who You Are…. Love, Truth, Wisdom, the Creator, the Way, the Life, the Light … God Almighty! Not because if I don’t obey a bunch of rules and regulations I will be sure to fall, or You will come after me with a big stick, or You will reject me.

Your Word says we love Him because [even though we totally deserve judgment and punishment - yes, death!] He loved us, and died for us, forgiving us that we might gain His life!

“Gospel” is good news!

……

By the way, my “readings for today” confirm this love of God that results in free obedience … the freedom Christ’s sacrifice has given those who believe in Him…. Check out Exodus 12: 13,17,41 Psalm 31 Psalm 32: 1-2, 5-11 Isa 31: 1,3 Isa 31:6-7 Acts 2:38-39, 42-47 Acts 3:15-16, 19-20 1 Corinthians 14:1,3,4,6,12,26,31

You do answer prayer!

Norma Hill — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 17:17:15 +0000

March 9, 2009

One of my children was going through a very difficult time today. Hubby and I were praying about it, and I was being so attacked by the enemy, to the tune that God so often h asn’t answered my prayers for my kids, and that He won’t this time either, and that my child will really not trust God after this, and so on…. And so hubby prayed for God to protect my from these attacks of the enemy… And then I was so mad at these lies that I just shouted out in anger, and told the enemy that God is infinitely stronger than he is, and that God does – and will! – answer prayer – and then I begged the blood of Jesus on my children…. and then I fell on my knees and raised my arms and praised God – and knew He was in control! (none of these “responses” were planned, and none were “typical of me”!)….

And then I went to my “daily Bible reading” …. and through Psalm 68:10-20 and Psalm 67 (which “just happened” to be the readings for today) God gave me total peace…

And then my child let me know that the stressful situation had really miraculously been resolved. So I told her about my experience this morning with the prayers and scripture… and we were both happy! Joyful! Thank You Lord!

…….. So I spent the rest of the day working on my “church journey” site… http://normajhill.blogspot.com

Schooling/ education … disconnects… questioning… truth… wisdom… joy!

Norma Hill — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 23:50:38 +0000

January 29 (yes, again…)

Here’s something I’m wondering about… is there some connection between “self actualization” (and self-esteem, etc etc etc) and “assessment for – and as – learning” and “positive formative assessment” (the goal of the latter apparently being to create a self-motivated, self-monitoring, self-managing, self-efficacy, internal locus of control and self-motivation type learner? (lots of “self..” there…) ..

(And as opposed to “control from outside” …. but what outside is that? the teacher, the ministry of ed, the philosophers of education, the power brokers in our society – or a further, ultimate “outside” whose existence we prefer to deny… what’s with all this self-this and self-that which we are aiming for….what do we really fear? … God’s control?)

“… articulate the role of assessment in ensuring success, understand that their work correlates with their needs…” (Carol Ann Thomlinson, “Learning to Love Assessment” … including all those self-items above) … ah yes, back to Maslowe and his hierarchy of needs… hmmmmm…

Tim Krell, in a seminar entitled “Curiosity and Wonder – lost in School?” said words to this effect: “We want students to become independent learners – when we demand so much obedience, how do we get them to think for themselves? … simply love: uncontaminated by self-interest [as a teacher]. Is it easier to control than to love? …. Individuals who are just receptablces are not given the opportunity to be true image-bearers of God. The more they are receptacles, the less transformation of themselves and the world: passive role –> adapt to the fragmented role of reality deposited to them. We need to equip students to ask important questions and follow those questions to the end.”

So… God’s love for us includes giving us the opportunity to ask questions – and even make choices that are us-centered rather than He-centered… doesn’t it? What does it mean to be a true image-bearer of God? What does this mean for education and schooling, in practical terms? For “Christian education” in particular? For our walk, our relationship, our journey with God?

I quit teaching (in part, at least) because of the disconnect between:

1. the supposed theory of schooling/ education in our society (which is so much based on the self-actualization model) (theoretically…), and

2. the reality (which is so much about practical control in managing a large crowd of little people whose goals and interests and other aspects of their lives may have very little to do with whatever it is we are trying to teach them… or get them to learn… or get them to be learners… or whatever…) (and also about the formation of cooperative little citizens who will accept the rule of the powers-that-be), and

3. the goals of “Christian schools/education” which include, as we hope, ultimately producing people who, as Krell described it, are “true image-bearers of God” [what DOES that mean? that is HUGE....!] and “responsive and responsible disciples of Jesus” (Harro van Brumellen) and so on.

So, how do we create schools that have all these things happening at once? Is it possible? Is it even right? It seems to me, just to start with, that the philosophical understandings behind these three aspects of (Christian) education are each antagonistic to the others (even the first two, in the public school system, are antagonistic, I’m thinking…) … And yes, when “Christian” education/ schools accept the funding of the world system, is it not inevitable that it’s methods (and it’s underyling philosophies, more than we want to admit… “If you buy a statement [method, etc], you buy the underlying assumptions as well” …), and when we educate our teachers in the world system, but expect them at the same time to “make disciples of Jesus” – no wonder they burn out… OR perhaps they find others ways to handle the disconnect… like just find “something that works for me” and accept that (that’s pretty self-actualizing, you think?) … or leave and do something else… or maybe go to the ivory towers of the seminary or university to legally become a thinker (maybe… if the powers-that-be there truly allow it… or maybe just give up the quest for truth and try to find a pragmatic middle road…. or … maybe… fill journals and blogs with “drivel” like this????

(and yes, this problem extends into our “churches” and our “Christian organizations” … and yes, indeed, into our personal journeys with God… doesn’t it? Or maybe, after all, I am making something wisely simple into complicated foolishness… maybe even evil??… )

Dear God: You are so way beyond my puny little mind!

Psalm 29: 1 .. Ascribe to the LORD glory and strength. 2. Ascribe to the LORD the glory of His name. Worship the LORD in the majesty of holiness. 3…. The God of glory thunders… 9… And in His temple everything says, “Glory!” 10… Yes, the LORD sits as King forever. 11. May the LORD bless His people with peace.

(How can I experience peace in the presence of an awesome, fearsome, majestic, thundering, glorious, strong, holy King and God like You? … Yes, I know…. “a shelter in the time of storm” ). (You really love paradox….).

(So… I want to know TRUTH… ergo, I want to know YOU — more! (or should I just be content to be where I am, and stop struggling, and just wait to see what You show me next… yes?)(Did You make me this way – or have I just bought into the world’s idea of “intellect/ knowledge/ wisdom….”??? Lord??)

(I am also having a really hard time waiting to see what it is You want from me… why? Another buy-in to the world’s way?) (Do you really just want a love relationship?!!!!) (so simple… so why so difficult?) (yes, I know about the “fleshly nature” and so on…)

Do You mind my questions? Is it okay to wonder? Or am I not really living in faith … and love… and trust… and obedience… simply…. with You? (I thought I am… at least that I’m on the journey, and that You just love me…. Yes, YOU DO!!!) Thank You! (I love You, too!)

Thank You!

JOY! (dancing, laughter, trust… oh yes, and peace!!!!) (I AM Your child!)

Unexpected thoughts … and great hope!

Norma Hill — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 06:08:40 +0000

January 25

“A local church has no right to define itself. It is the prerogative of Jesus Christ alone to define the church, for it is His church and it is designed to fulfill His purpose.” (Charles Price)

Something I just realized… ___ asking me to sew skirts for her, and ___ asking me to show her how to sew… that’s part of my Titus 5 older woman dream! wow!) (Your vision/ dream…)

Jesus’ instructions, mandate, mission to His disciples: – preach the gospel to the whole world – make disciples of all nations – start where we are (ie Jerusalem) – expand your circles till you reach the ends of the earth (go on a journey that will take you eventually, generation after generation, to the ends of the earth) – do it by the indwelling, enabling and empowering of the Holy Spirit (and wait/ pray until that happens) … (and grow in discipleship to become better equipped to live lives that not only bring pleasure to God but which bring revelation of him to those around us in our world!)

I didn’t wake and get up this morning till going on 9:30 am! I didn’t even hear hubby come home from work, and he had to make his own breakfast, poor thing! I just don’t sleep in like that! By the time I showered and had breakfast it was way past “Church in the Park” which I had thought of going to (to help make and serve breakfast) and it was also past church pre-service prayer, and even too late to get to church service on time…. coincident? I don’t think so…

Anyway, I really felt led to watch some “Christian” TV programs – which I generally do not like to watch, in fact, haven’t watched for literally years… but it was YOUR leading. The speaker was Charles Price, the pastor of “The People’s Church” in Toronto, and former principle of Capernwray, England. Maybe I wouldn’t have even stayed on that channel, but he mentioned Capernwray, which reminded me of my brother, so I listened a bit longer – and the message was surely to me from You! I even took notes – from a TV program! Very unusual for me! But I had to! You were speaking! Afterwards I even went to their website and downloaded and read the transcript. (“The Dynamics of An Effective Church: Part 1: The Dangers of a Mature Church”- www.livingtruth.ca … check it out!)

Out of that came this question: WHO equips? (and why?) … we’ve had so much teaching about “the pastor” and “leaders” being the equippers… and I was wondering about that… so I checked out some scripture that deals with this topic: 2 Tim 3:16-17, 2 Tim 2:21, Heb 13:20,21, 2 Cor 9:8-10, Eph 2:8-10, 1 Pet 5:10, Acts 2:8, 38, Rom 1:11, 1 Cor 12:1,4-11, 18, 18-31, Eph 2:20-22, Eph 4:11-15, 21-24, 31-32, Eph 5: 18-20 …. and this is what I found:

GOD EQUIPS all His people, by grace through Jesus, in and through the Holy Spirit…

for every good work, pleasing and useful to the Master, and planned before hand by God …. for confirming, strengthening, establishing, and increasing the harvest of righteousness….

to become sanctified vessels, prepared for those good works, and…

to be his witnesses, and…

for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ, in love, and…

that we will all hold to the truth in love, and grow into Christ our head.

God does use various means to equip (but still, He Himself does the equipping!). He uses: scripture (for teaching, reproof, correction, training in righteousness; the Holy Spirit (power, teaching, guiding, etc); spiritual gifts (which He gives, and which are all needed together; though some of the gifts are roles that are especialy for helping to equip others, such as apostles, prophets, teachers, evangelists, pastors); and every member of the body fulfilling the prupose and role God has given them.

So… God equips!

…….. And then I watched – which I would NEVER have expected myself to do – Jack van Impe… well, he was predicting Dec 21 2012 as the beginning, I gather, of Christ’s reign (apparently numerous “seers” of the past from all over the world have been proclaiming, for over 2000 years, that this date will be the “end of the world”… well, now, I don’t know about that… and I’m leery of date setters! …

BUT then he also quoted Henry Kissinger as recently saying that Barack Obama will bring in the “New World Order” … and you know what, I’ve actually been wondering about the way so many people all over the world have been enthusiastically, pretty much uncritically, hailing the new president as (even if they don’t use these words) some kind of “savior” or “messiah” figure… And I’m thinking… there is no way a single human could “fix” all of the world’s problems… but if enough people get behind him (and it is astounding to me how so many people seem to trust him completely to fix so many huge problems), I do think it is possible for those who have, in the background, been preparing for a “New World Order” to use him as a front man or “leader” ….

I wonder – are people really prepared to give up their freedoms? – because it seems to me that is what it will take to usher in the “New World Order”- the “peace” and “global unity” that these people are offering. Yes, I suppose people are ready to give up their own personal ideas and ideals… people are desperate, of course, with global economic “meltdowns” and so many wars and so on… But to give up your right to freely think and believe in order to achieve a world-wide “unity” of that order? It seems to me that people will have to actually choose gullibility and blindness in exchange….

The world wants a “messiah” … and the “prince of this world” is gleefully willing to oblige… Rather than accepting the true freedom and true peace God offers through Jesus and His Spirit, the world is willing to accept an alternative, false “peace” that is not peace at all, that does not bring freedom but is established by tyranny, and even by the threat of death for those who refuse to fall in line.

I’ve never been a big “end-times fanatic” … but when I see people all over the world wildly cheering, and weeping tears of joy, for a mere man (although I understand that at least some of that joy is legitimately related to the ideals of equality that he represents; and rightly so), not only do I wonder how he will manage to live up to expectations, and how long it will take before people, disappointed if things don’t immediately change and improve, turn on him… but I also am beginning to wonder if “the end” is not actually nearer than I’ve thought….

(Do I want to actually post this kind of thinking on my blog? I know, even now, that it’s asking for trouble… What kind of world, I wonder, will it take to provide “global peace” ?…) (check out 2 Thess 2:7-12…) But there IS good news in all of this!

Yes, there is an “end” coming… and there IS reason for joy: but not just a wonderful man, or even the hope of achieving a great ideal – but this promised end will truly be only the beginning of the real, eternal, peaceable Kingdom of God Almighty; a Kingdom that exists already, but when the final battle, the final war is won, the shadowlands will pass away and the God of Truth will reign forever! Praise God! Yes!

Jehovah Jireh, my provider! … and Penticton Pedestrian: Gifts instead of sales!

Norma Hill — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 03:42:40 +0000

December 20 (still more)

Sewed buttons on hubby’s Haida button vest. Finished the first “Haida” heart… and worked on the second one. Set up hubby’s Facebook: lots of people are signing on as friends! Yay! Finished my son’s cookbooks.

I went with my son to the mall, and he bought me a book on Haida Gwaii with beautiful photos!

In the afternoon, a young couple came and got a lot of things from my “Freecycle” sale. They are just setting up housekeeping, and were thrilled to get so many kitchen items etc for free. They are both students, and were also delighted to get many packages of notepaper and many notebooks, as well as pens and other stuff I have left over from when my kids were in school. I then posted a new list of remaining “stuff” on Facebook and Freecycle – and by evening 3 sets of folks had come by and took a lot! A young mom with a newborn baby girl was delighted to take the baby girl items I’d bought at sales before my two grandchildren were born this fall – and turned out to both be boys! Another mom with 4 children, homeschoolers, came by and was delighted to get many toys, coloring books and markers, and other such things… the kids were thrilled too! Early Christmas! I’m thinking from their delight that this is going to really make a “Christmas” for them! Wow! And still another young man came and picked up lawnchairs and other items for the cabin where his organization does “Outward Bound” activities to help youth in trouble! Now I know why You didn’t send anyone along to “buy” from my yard sale! You had a real Christmas-style free-gift event in mind! Wow! Praise God! (And with all the incredible buys and freebies and such You’ve been providing for us for Christmas and the wedding, I haven’t needed the “yard sale money” anyway! Wow! Amazing God! “Jehovah Jireh, my provider! Your grace IS sufficient for me!”