January 29 (yes, again…)
Here’s something I’m wondering about… is there some connection between “self actualization” (and self-esteem, etc etc etc) and “assessment for – and as – learning” and “positive formative assessment” (the goal of the latter apparently being to create a self-motivated, self-monitoring, self-managing, self-efficacy, internal locus of control and self-motivation type learner? (lots of “self..” there…) ..
(And as opposed to “control from outside” …. but what outside is that? the teacher, the ministry of ed, the philosophers of education, the power brokers in our society – or a further, ultimate “outside” whose existence we prefer to deny… what’s with all this self-this and self-that which we are aiming for….what do we really fear? … God’s control?)
“… articulate the role of assessment in ensuring success, understand that their work correlates with their needs…” (Carol Ann Thomlinson, “Learning to Love Assessment” … including all those self-items above) … ah yes, back to Maslowe and his hierarchy of needs… hmmmmm…
Tim Krell, in a seminar entitled “Curiosity and Wonder – lost in School?” said words to this effect: “We want students to become independent learners – when we demand so much obedience, how do we get them to think for themselves? … simply love: uncontaminated by self-interest [as a teacher]. Is it easier to control than to love? …. Individuals who are just receptablces are not given the opportunity to be true image-bearers of God. The more they are receptacles, the less transformation of themselves and the world: passive role –> adapt to the fragmented role of reality deposited to them. We need to equip students to ask important questions and follow those questions to the end.”
So… God’s love for us includes giving us the opportunity to ask questions – and even make choices that are us-centered rather than He-centered… doesn’t it? What does it mean to be a true image-bearer of God? What does this mean for education and schooling, in practical terms? For “Christian education” in particular? For our walk, our relationship, our journey with God?
I quit teaching (in part, at least) because of the disconnect between:
1. the supposed theory of schooling/ education in our society (which is so much based on the self-actualization model) (theoretically…), and
2. the reality (which is so much about practical control in managing a large crowd of little people whose goals and interests and other aspects of their lives may have very little to do with whatever it is we are trying to teach them… or get them to learn… or get them to be learners… or whatever…) (and also about the formation of cooperative little citizens who will accept the rule of the powers-that-be), and
3. the goals of “Christian schools/education” which include, as we hope, ultimately producing people who, as Krell described it, are “true image-bearers of God” [what DOES that mean? that is HUGE....!] and “responsive and responsible disciples of Jesus” (Harro van Brumellen) and so on.
So, how do we create schools that have all these things happening at once? Is it possible? Is it even right? It seems to me, just to start with, that the philosophical understandings behind these three aspects of (Christian) education are each antagonistic to the others (even the first two, in the public school system, are antagonistic, I’m thinking…) … And yes, when “Christian” education/ schools accept the funding of the world system, is it not inevitable that it’s methods (and it’s underyling philosophies, more than we want to admit… “If you buy a statement [method, etc], you buy the underlying assumptions as well” …), and when we educate our teachers in the world system, but expect them at the same time to “make disciples of Jesus” – no wonder they burn out… OR perhaps they find others ways to handle the disconnect… like just find “something that works for me” and accept that (that’s pretty self-actualizing, you think?) … or leave and do something else… or maybe go to the ivory towers of the seminary or university to legally become a thinker (maybe… if the powers-that-be there truly allow it… or maybe just give up the quest for truth and try to find a pragmatic middle road…. or … maybe… fill journals and blogs with “drivel” like this????
(and yes, this problem extends into our “churches” and our “Christian organizations” … and yes, indeed, into our personal journeys with God… doesn’t it? Or maybe, after all, I am making something wisely simple into complicated foolishness… maybe even evil??… )
Dear God: You are so way beyond my puny little mind!
Psalm 29: 1 .. Ascribe to the LORD glory and strength. 2. Ascribe to the LORD the glory of His name. Worship the LORD in the majesty of holiness. 3…. The God of glory thunders… 9… And in His temple everything says, “Glory!” 10… Yes, the LORD sits as King forever. 11. May the LORD bless His people with peace.
(How can I experience peace in the presence of an awesome, fearsome, majestic, thundering, glorious, strong, holy King and God like You? … Yes, I know…. “a shelter in the time of storm” ). (You really love paradox….).
(So… I want to know TRUTH… ergo, I want to know YOU — more! (or should I just be content to be where I am, and stop struggling, and just wait to see what You show me next… yes?)(Did You make me this way – or have I just bought into the world’s idea of “intellect/ knowledge/ wisdom….”??? Lord??)
(I am also having a really hard time waiting to see what it is You want from me… why? Another buy-in to the world’s way?) (Do you really just want a love relationship?!!!!) (so simple… so why so difficult?) (yes, I know about the “fleshly nature” and so on…)
Do You mind my questions? Is it okay to wonder? Or am I not really living in faith … and love… and trust… and obedience… simply…. with You? (I thought I am… at least that I’m on the journey, and that You just love me…. Yes, YOU DO!!!) Thank You! 
(I love You, too!)
Thank You!
JOY! (dancing, laughter, trust… oh yes, and peace!!!!) (I AM Your child!)
