May 1, 2010
So I actually went to bed at 8 pm, and figured I’d get up by 5 am, having had a good night’s sleep. However, shortly before I went to bed, my son came home from work, and was telling me how he had been told by his boss that he was being “unprofessional” for laughing and being happy in front of customers. I suppose my “protective mothering instincts” went into high gear, because I woke up about 1:30 am thinking about it – and tossed and turned till 2:30 am, praying for sleep, and for rest from my thoughts. But I couldn’t drift off again, so I turned on the light, and got out my pen and paper.
I won’t go into detail here about all my “mother hen” ideas about how to “solve” my son’s problem. Suffice it to say that I finally came to the conclusion that at 20 years old, he is a man, and I really ought to let him deal with these kinds of things himself, and develop into a responsible adult! Besides, I am sure he would not appreciate me running to his aid – and neither would his boss, lol!
Beyond all my wild ideas on how I could “help” or “rescue” or “stand up for” my son, I began to write about how we try to teach our kids about justice, fairness, equality, respect, etc … but how we live in a world that sure doesn’t seem to operate according to those ideals. I won’t burden you with all I wrote (lucky you!), but here’s the gist of it:
I especially got into how we push equality in relationship to gender, and race, and such, but don’t believe in it when it comes to age: especially youth and old age. That led me on to grousing about how we teach democracy in our schools, but the schools themselves are one of the most undemocratic institutions ever devised (which of course leads to a whole other discussion on what schools really teach…).
Then I went on to jobs, and keeping young adults at the “bottom of the ladder” as long as possible, and all the reasons for that. And how we promise big wages for those who stay in school the longest (and then often don’t pay those wages, oh dear), instead of tying learning to really important things, like becoming a responsible adult and citizen, able to think and make responsible decisions and care about the world (all things which schools don’t teach so well, anyway…).
And then I got in a flap about the rules of the road for drivers, and how kids get pulled over and charged far more often than adults (not to mention police officers) who are just as bad and often worse drivers, but should be setting a good example. And how young people who decide to become responsible young parents are scorned by older adults as “babies having babies.” And how we try to keep young people out of the workforce, or at least out of responsible positions, as long as possible, so us older adults can hang onto them as long as possible, in order to be able to afford to “own all the toys.” And then we lament because the young adults stay home with mom and dad so long.
And then I realized I’d been writing for an hour. And really wasn’t getting anywhere. So I decided it was time to stop and try to sleep again. I finished off my middle-of-the-night diatribe by writing the following words of wisdom:
Okay, I have opened a kettle of fish that is way too big for midnight ponderings. I’m getting tired just thinking about it. (Plus I had a nice big glass of chocolate milk, which made me feel better – part of my midnight wakening was because I was dehydrated from not drinking enough yesterday – and it also made me sleepy!
At least I’m not feeling in such a flap about my poor little son. Guess I better stop wanting to baby him (and his generation), and let him grow up and take his place in the fair and equitable and just adult world, lol!
(Oh dear. Maybe all that “poor young people” moaning and groaning should be reconsidered! When you think about about, young people really don’t have it so bad. Enjoy your youth while you can, my young friends! Adulthood “ain’t all it’s cracked up to be” either!)
