7:44 am Saturday morning. Just spent 1/2 hour or so on email, facebook, etc…. And I’m prone to do this several times a day! Seems like maybe a waste of time sometimes… I do especially love to see what my “friends” are up to (I currently have 164 friends on Facebook, plus just over 100 people contacts on one email account, and some more on another, not to mention folks on my other half-dozen less-used social networking accounts)… and I enjoy “weighing in” with bits of encouragement, and so on… but it does use up a lot of time. I’m thinking I should restrict myself to once in the morning and once in the evening. But even the thought of restricting myself like that is giving me “withdrawl” symptoms (headache, sick tummy…)!
Still, the fact is, I keep thinking I should go visit some of my local friends… face-to-face, in person… maybe go walking with them, or window-shopping, or do some art or photography together, or help them with something, or just plain visit together, maybe pray and get into the Word… but I find I just “don’t have time” …
So I’m wondering… what’s more crucial, keeping up past relationships (and even on-going, present ones, like with my kids who live scattered all over the country), using “virtual reality” sort of visits like on Facebook and by email; or building current ones (my friends here and now, where God has put me at this point in my life), by actually spending time together…
Or, most likely, some balance of the two. But why, I wonder, are the internet-based visits more “attractive?”
Of course, first of all I don’t have to put out any physical effort. I can do it anytime of the day or night (for example, here I sit early Saturday morning – when most if not all of my local friends would not want to be going out together for coffee or whatever – curled up in comfort in my jammies and soft housecoat and messy hair and warm cozy afghan, sitting at the computer in my private little office space… all not very conducive to actually spending time with friends!
I also don’t have to plan ahead, make dates that fit into all our busy life-styles; with computer friends I can just fire off a message at my convenience, and they can answer at theirs – very convenient for both of us.
And it’s easy to choose what to say about your life and yourself, on-line. You can present whatever aspect of yourself you choose – and they aren’t seeing your body-language, or even your current “looks.” Don’t we all choose what pictures to post? (Of course, the truth about me unfortunately comes out when my daughters post pictures of me that I never would have chosen!).
Still, if I’m being selective, in on-line friendships, of what I let people know about me (and I fancy myself a pretty open, honest person…), I suppose they’re doing the same to some extent. So what kind of “relationship-building” is that? Of course we do it in “real life” too, but I think it’s harder to keep the truth hidden (though some folks make an art of it…).
On the other hand, it looks to me as though some folk, especially the young ones, seem more willing to “let it all hang out” on-line. But even then, they seem to be, a lot of the time, trying to create a certain “persona”- hot (or cool!), popular, whatever – because the kids I know in “real life” and on-line, both, are generally not as “out-going” in real life as their on-line life suggests. It seems that folks, young or old, are either “playing up” or “playing down” – and yes, we do that in “real life” to, but I think not so much and not so successfully.
Oh yes, another good thing about on-line is that I am more likely to think through what I want to say, rather than running off at the mouth – which no doubt is a blessing to the “listener” (reader) and also saves me from putting my foot in my mouth so often (yep, even this blog is “edited” …)
Of course, I do miss “coffee” times and eating together, when it comes to those “on-line relationships.” Isn’t food an important part of friendship? I mean, there’s just something missing in a virtual potluck, or virtual dinner gathering, or even virtual coffee at the corner cafe….
So… is anyone else feeling this way? What do you do about it? Is anyone even reading this?
Hey, if you are one of my “real-life” friends, I’m totally willing, right now, to put on some “presentable” duds (oh dear… hiding the “real me” in my pjs and mussed-up hair, haha), and head out… for a walk in the fresh crisp autumn air with the trees covered with golden and red leaves, or a meander through the malls with their Christmas decorations (hey it isn’t even Hallowe’en yet!), or coffee and a fresh warm cinnamon bun at the cafe, or to pick up some fresh fall fruits and veggies at the Saturday Farmer’s Market, or…. Give me a call!
