December 25, 2009
Isaiah 9:6 “For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given, and the government will be upon His shoulders, and His name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Thank You! Wow!
5:11 am Christmas morning. Sadly, no snow… but cold, nonetheless!
As always, awake early… and can’t go back to sleep. I should get up in a bit and make a coffee cake or some such, since I didn’t buy the “traditional” Christmas morning treats this year – eggnog and mini-boxed-cereals – or even pop tarts! I just wasn’t into the “Christmas spirit” if by that one means our “traditions.” Partly because we won’t be having our Christmas dinner until the 27th, with hubby working the holidays. Guess I’m already lonely for family too (even missing my mom and dad… and so few of our kids here – but Yay! We get to go to my daughter’s this morning!).
But I don’t know. There are other things too. I don’t have the energy, physically or emotionally, to get all “psyched up” or to rush around doing lots of baking and decorating and shopping and getting into debt more and more. And it really does seem “obscene” to me to spend tons of money on things that are over in an instant (and yes, I know we’ll have those “wonderful memories” of them… but we have so many memories already…), not to mention a house full of clutter that we really don’t need. I want to simplify. I already have a shed (and house ?) full of clutter (despite the 5 free yard sales worth of clutter – and the enormous piles of garbage – that I got rid of before we moved).
I’m glad to have a third world foster child this year! Now that seems Christmas-y! And I loved giving the street guys hair-cuts on Thursday! That was Christmas-y too! And love baking for them and such – that seems Christmas-y year-round!
If there’s something I miss about Christmas-past, I think maybe it is singing Christmas carols, especially going out caroling, but any singing Christmas songs in a group.
And lighting Advent candles, and the short meditations that go with them…
And praying together. Oh Papa! I am missing family time with You!!! It seems to me that the fancier our breakfasts and coffee times have become at the street ministry, the less time we have to really spend time with You. The crowds get bigger (which some would equate with success… though maybe it has more to do with more people in poverty…) but it feels like the family intimacy decreases at the same time.
Papa, I would love to watch “A Charlie Brown Christmas” again… I searched all those TV channels but couldn’t find it… maybe it’s just too “religious” for the “PC police” these days, so sad… Linus got it right. It is all about You, Jesus… and yet we so easily lose sight of You in the midst of all the rush and bustle and presents and food and lights and bells… and even the carols (and the snow… I wish, LOL!).
That’s pretty amazing how easily we do that…. lose sight of the Creator, the Almighty God of the universe (and of eternity beyond it!)… the Wonderful Counselor, the Savior of lost and dying mankind, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace… how is it that we so easily become blinded by the “cheap tinsel” we have strung up supposedly to honor You and “remind” us of You…
We shouldn’t need reminders. If we are truly walking with You, Your glory should blind us to all the foolish tinsel instead!
How does it happen, Papa? To me, too… Even when I am discontented with the tinsel, I still am finding it hard to rest in You and let You immerse me in Your glory and love.
Papa, this might sound really foolish… but how is it that I can feel lonely at the same time I am so aware of Your love, and want to love You back in return?
Papa, YOU ARE MY PASSION! But how do I express that? Everything I do seems so inadequate, so “not enough,” so “I want to do more! better!” And of course that is inevitable because I can never be “worthy” of Your love. My love-in-return can never hope to match up to the eternal perfect love of the God of all!!! In fact, any true love I have within me, to share with You and others, actually comes from You alone, from Your Spirit dwelling in me. It is truly NONE of me! (So maybe I’m just “trying” again???).
(But oh, Papa, I DO want to love You… together with others in Your family!! I long for united love in You! I want to worship You together! Like I read last night in Isaiah 6:3: “Holy, holy, holy, is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of His glory!”
Oh dear God, I do not want to be part of a people of insensitive hearts, dull ears, dim eyes… I do want to be part of a people who “see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts, and return and be healed.” (Isaiah 6:9-10).
That’s what I want for Christmas, Papa! Please?!? Thank You! Amen!
May it truly be a merry, joyful Christmas, dear Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit! Amen! I love You!
PS… a really cool thing just happened… I thought I’d do a quick early-morning facebook check before hubby gets home from working all night… and a young woman, a former student of mine from a dozen years ago or so, opened a chat line to wish me a merry Christmas! I loved it! It was a beautiful start to the day! A real Christmas blessing!
(Especially coming right after my beautiful start with You, Papa! ? thank You!)
